


I've Got a Song to Sing

by grumblesandmumbles



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-21 21:16:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2482751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumblesandmumbles/pseuds/grumblesandmumbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian picks up a new hobby. How will it go over when Mickey finds out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. WIth Mania Comes Inspiration

**Author's Note:**

> The idea came to me after remembering when Ian was rambling about different things in the Gallagher house when he was having the manic episode that no one caught on to. Feel free to leave kudos or comments if you like it!

It's been a year since the onset of Ian's Bipolar Disorder. He has come a long way. He's been stabilized with medication, and while he's had a few episodes since his diagnosis, they haven't been as extreme. He's become familiar with realizing when he's having a manic episode, and it makes him more prepared for the inevitable downturn. Overall, it hasn't been smooth sailing, but it definitely hasn't been as bad as that first series either.

He's been thinking about some of the things that were going on through that first episode. The mania, the men in the clubs, the weird things he would talk about, his 3 hours of sleep and 5am runs. He almost can't believe that all of that happened. But one thing has stuck with him, that he doesn't think was so odd. He remembers going on a tangent one day at home about how come none of the Gallaghers ever learned to play an instrument. The answer initially would be that they never had money for extracurricular activities. There were no music lessons, no dance lessons. Ian only did little league as a kid because it was free through the school. All they had to do was pay for the uniform, which they managed to do after Fiona stole money from Frank when he was passed out after a typical bender. But that was a one-time fee. No worries about having to come up with money every week or month for that. Ian found himself thinking about that comment quite often, although he wasn't sure why it stuck with him.

One day, he was walking home from a doctor's appointment and passed a yard sale. And there, propped against a table, was a beautiful cherry colored acoustic guitar in a case. He saw there were also some music books on the table, and his curiosity got the best of him. He walked over and started flipping through the books. Lots of guides to notes and chords, and various books filled with sheet music for different bands. The owner came over and they started to haggle over the price. In the end, Ian was able to talk the guy into giving it all to him for $40. It was a splurge he couldn't necessarily afford, but he felt compelled to buy it. He gave the guy his money and happily walked off with his new stuff. When he got home (home still being the Milkovich house), he hid the guitar and the music books in the back of Mickey's closet. He didn't think that Mickey would be mad that he got that stuff, but he wasn't ready to share his new hobby yet. Besides, Mickey never even looked in there. Half the time he found what he was going to wear on the floor. It was probably the best hiding spot in the house. 

Ian had plenty of alone time. His doctor had recommended he work, give himself a routine to stick to, but didn't want him to overwhelm himself. So he had went back to the Kash and Grab, but only twice a week for now. Other times, he usually stayed home and watched Yev while Svetlana and Mickey dealt with the rub and tug, and Mandy worked at the diner. Yev still wasn't old enough to tell anyone about his secret, so he would practice the guitar for hours when he was home, with Yev as his audience. The kid seemed to enjoy it. Sometimes he would just sit and watch Ian, rapt with attention. Ian had watched some videos online to learn how to tune the guitar and to help learn the notes, along with poring through the books he bought. It was slow going, but he was enjoying figuring it out. He always had a good work ethic, and when he was interested in something, no one was willing to work harder than he was. 

One day, he was in the living room, the music books strewn around him, strumming away in his own world. He was working on a chord that he had been struggling with. Were fingers meant to bend like that? His hand was killing him, but he was determined to get it down. All of a sudden, a voice behind him said "Whatcha working on there?" Ian spun around, startled. He hadn't heard anyone come in. There was Mickey, in the entry way to the house, a smirk on his face.


	2. Let Me Show You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey has found out Ian's secret. But what comes next will surprise Ian.

For some weird reason, Ian was nervous. "Mick! You scared me! I didn't even hear you come in! What are you doing here?" Mickey walked into the room. "Forgot my fuckin' phone. You didn't answer my question. Whatcha working on Red?" He looks serious, and secretly, Ian is starting to freak out a little bit. He doesn't think this is going to be good. "Uh, an F chord. It's a bitch." And with that, Mickey lets out a laugh. Ian is relieved. But what comes next surprises him. "Here, let me show you." Mickey takes the guitar out of Ian's hands and puts his foot up on the couch. He throws the strap over his shoulder and balances the guitar on his knee. He places his fingers the way Ian was trying to, only for him he does it very naturally. He starts strumming while holding the chord, and it sounded beautiful to Ian's ears. Mickey is babbling on about the finger placement, but Ian's not even listening. He's too stunned. 

Before Ian can ask how he knows this, Mickey has placed the guitar back in Ian's hands and says "Scoot up." Ian looks at him confused. "On the couch. Scoot up and sit on the edge." Ian does, and Mickey hops up on the couch and gets behind him. He puts his arms around Ian, over Ian's arms, and guides his hands into place. He looks over Ian's shoulder to look at his fingers, make sure he's placing them correctly. Ian can feel Mickey's breath on his neck and for a moment he's forgotten about the guitar. He just wants to throw Mickey down on the couch. But before he can, Mickey says "Okay, now strum the strings." Ian does, and he'd be damned if it didn't sound like when Mickey did it. Mickey lets go and Ian does it a few times on his own. It's sounding just right. Mickey is pleased with himself and smiles.

Ian remembers his confusion. He turns so that he can see Mick and asks, "Mick, how the hell do you know how to do that?" He can see Mickey getting a bit shy. "When I was a kid, my mom got me lessons for my birthday one year. Not a big deal." Here's something Ian didn't know. I guess even after all this time, there are still surprises they both have for each other. "How come you don't play anymore?" A flash of pain passes over Mickey's face, but he recovers quickly. "Eh, fuckin' Terry broke my guitar in a fit of rage after my mother died. Took it as a sign. Haven't played since." Ian feels a wave of sadness for him. Terry really tried to rob his kids of any sense of family and happiness. No wonder they were all so broken for so long. Ian brushes a loose piece of hair from Mickey's forehead and looks him in the eye. "I'd love it if you'd teach me. I've been having a hard time picking up on some of the stuff just reading books and watching videos." Mickey squirms, clearly uncomfortable. "Uh, let me think about it? Gotta get back to The Alibi." He climbs off the couch and grabs his phone from the kitchen in a rush, headed for the front door. But he detours quickly and plants a kiss on Ian's lips. "Sure, Mick. See you later." And with that, he's gone.

Ian feels bad. Was it wrong for him to ask Mickey to help him? He knows he has to talk to Mickey about it later, but he's apprehensive. Even with as much progress as they've made, Mickey is still weird sometimes when you try to discuss things with him. Not as bad as before, but he's been the way he is for so long, that when he's really hurt or uncomfortable, he defaults back to the same old patterns. Later, Ian is making dinner and he hears his phone beep. He opens it and sees a text from Mickey. Ian reads it and can't help but wonder if this is Mickey avoiding the conversation he knows is coming. 

_Mickey: Don't wait up, probably home late._

_Ian: You sure? Nothing to do with me asking you for help with the guitar earlier?_

_Mickey: Seriously? I may be an asshole but you know I'm not a liar. Nothing to do with that. Some dumb fuck left without paying the girls, gotta find him. I'll be home later._

Ian knows better than to push Mickey at this point, or he's going to make things worse. He doesn't answer the last message. Eventually, Svetlana turns up and Ian finds out that Mickey was telling the truth, and he feels terrible. The hours go by and Mickey hasn't gotten back. Ian heads to bed, but can't sleep. Now he's not only worried about their conversation earlier, but worried that Mickey has gotten into some sort of trouble and that's why he's not back. As Ian is about to doze off, he hears the front door. He hears muffled footsteps go into the bathroom, and hears the sink turn on. After a minute or so, the water shuts off and he hears the footsteps coming his way. The bedroom door opens, and there is Mickey. He's got a black eye starting already and a cut on his cheek, but otherwise he's fine. Ian sits up and motions Mickey to come over. Mickey walks over, taking off his shirt in the process, and sits down on the bed. Ian takes his face in his hands and he's looking at Mickey's eye suspiciously. "Nice shiner you got there." Mickey smirks as he wiggles out of his pants. "Yea, well you should see the other guy. Thinks he's going to stiff us. He learned that lesson the hard way." 

They lay down together, Mickey nestling into the crook of Ian's arm. Ian has decided not to bring up what happened earlier, it's just not worth the fight or stress right now. It'll come up eventually. Mickey reaches over and turns out the light, and they're laying there in the dark. Time passes, and Ian's once again about to fall asleep. He thought Mickey was already sleeping, when suddenly Mickey speaks up. "I'm sorry." Ian turns his face towards him. "For what, Mick?" Mickey sighs softly. "For blowing you off earlier when you asked me to help you with the guitar. I've felt bad about it all day. You know I don't mind helping you, right? I guess I just felt weird at first because I haven't done it in so long and it brings up a lot of old memories. But I'll help you. Maybe it'll be good for me or some shit, who knows." Ian pulls him in close and kisses him. "Mick, you don't have to if you don't want to. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable earlier." Mickey waves him off and says "Please Red, you've been making me feel uncomfortable for years, why stop now?" With that, they look at each other and laugh, and with the apologies out of the way, they fall asleep pretty quickly after that.


	3. Wake Me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey never ceases to surprise Ian.

Mickey had been teaching Ian the basics of the guitar for about a month, and Ian was definitely beginning to get the hang of it. He wasn't a comfortable player quite yet, but he was making progress with learning how to transition between chords more smoothly, although he couldn't quite do it fast enough. They typically practiced at least twice a week, sometimes more if they weren't too busy, but never less than that. As they got more into it, Ian could tell that Mickey was really enjoying it, and he felt better that he had asked for Mickey's help. Mickey had even went out and bought Ian a guitar stand, so that Ian didn't have to shove it in the closet. When it wasn't being used, the guitar now proudly sat in the corner of their room. Ian really enjoyed learning the guitar, but even more so, he realized that he really loved watching Mickey play. Besides when they were fooling around, he had never seen Mickey so relaxed as he was when he was playing. He never noticed how much tension Mickey carries around all the time. But when he really got into a song, he was lost in it, and Ian thought it was great.

Ian was walking home from the Gallagher house, having stopped there to pick up Fiona's old GED books. He had decided that he didn't want to go back to school. With Lip graduated, Mickey and Mandy both having quit, and his ROTC days so far behind him, it held no appeal for him. He didn't have other friends there. But he did want to do something so he could make steps towards a future. He knew the Army was out of the question, as was any branch of the military now. But since he had escaped having a record, he figured once he got the GED, he could consider taking classes at the local community college and see where that led. He got home and opened the door and heard the familiar sound of the guitar being played. He smiled to himself. Mickey had taken to playing it randomly, mostly when no one was around, and Ian had caught him once or twice. The song sounded familiar, but Ian couldn't quite place it. As he came in the door, dropping the books and his jacket on the couch, all of a sudden he heard something else.

_Feeling my way through the darkness_  
 _Guided by a beating heart_  
 _I can't tell where the journey will end_  
 _But I know where to start_

_They tell me I'm too young to understand_  
 _They say I'm caught up in a dream_  
 _Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes_  
 _Well that's fine by me_

What the... Was that Mickey? SINGING? Ian tiptoed through the house, not wanting Mickey to know he was there. He didn't want him to stop. He got to the bedroom and peeked in the door. Yes, that was Mickey singing, and he sounded GOOD. Ian had no idea that Mickey could even sing. He certainly didn't know that Mickey could hold his own against any of these people on the radio today. He stayed outside the door, watching as Mickey played and kept singing.

_So wake me up when it's all over_  
 _When I'm wiser and I'm older_  
 _All this time I was finding myself_  
 _And I didn't know I was lost_

_I tried carrying the weight of the world_  
 _But I only have two hands_  
 _Hope I get the chance to travel the world_  
 _But I don't have any plans_

_Wish that I could stay forever this young_  
 _Not afraid to close my eyes_  
 _Life's a game made for everyone_  
 _And love is the prize_

Mickey was facing the window, so he didn't realize when Ian had slowly pushed the door open all the way and stood there watching him. Ian himself didn't even realize he had done that. But he had to really see it for himself, take it in. Because who knows if he'd ever see this again. Then, Mickey turned around and jumped when he saw Ian standing there, gawking at him. He would have dropped the guitar if the strap wasn't over his shoulder. "Jesus Christ, Ian! You scared the shit out of me!" Ian just stared at him with his jaw dropped open. "Gonna catch some flies there, Red? Close your mouth, you look ridiculous." Ian did, but kept staring at him. "What the fuck are you looking at??" Mickey said, getting exasperated. Ian blinked and shook his head and replied "Mick, I had no idea you could sing, let alone like THAT." Mickey scoffed and waved him off with one hand. "Please, it's not a big deal. Don't make a thing about it." Ian was not about to let Mickey blow it off like that. "No way, Mick. Uh-Uh. You can SING. You sounded really _REALLY_ good. How did I not know about this?" Mickey scowled at him, but there was no malice in it. "Why would you? It's not like I'm on Broadway, what the fuck would I be running around singing all the time for? Haven't done it in a long time anyway, probably since when I was taking guitar lessons. It's not a big deal man."

Ian persisted. "Mick, when somebody has a gift like that, they should DO something with it!" Mickey rolls his eyes. "Oh yea? Like what?" Ian shrugs. "I don't know, join a band? Show it off?" Mickey laughs at this. "Ian, when have I had time to just join a band? I've been hustling since junior high school. I have shit to do, like, you know, work. Make money. Feed my kid. When am I supposed to just go play boy bander? Who am I going to be in a band with? I don't have friends, I hate nearly everyone. Get real." He takes the guitar strap off and places the guitar back on its stand. "I don't do hobbies." Ian doesn't want to push him, but he almost can't help himself. "But Mick, I've never heard anyone sing like you. I'm not trying to flatter you, I'm being serious. You shouldn't waste that kind of talent! I'd kill for a talent like that! I'm good at working for stuff, but I've never been naturally gifted at something. I can't draw, I can't sing, I only know what I do on the guitar because you taught me, but I sure can't play like you. I mean-" Mickey cuts him off with a wave of his hand. "Ian, enough. I mean it. You want to hear me play or sing, great. I'll play for you all you want. But stop with this bullshit. I'm not joining some stupid band. I have other things to take care of. End of discussion." Ian almost says something, but stops himself. It hasn't turned into a fight yet, but he knows if he pushes that one last time, it will. He holds his hands up, like you would for a cop. "Okay, okay Mick. I'll stop. But only if you'll at least finish the song for me." He sits down on the bed, waiting to be Mickey's audience. Mick smirks and replies with a quick "Fine." He takes the guitar and does as Ian asked. He's always had trouble saying no to Ian, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew I wanted to have Mickey sing in this chapter, but I hadn't decided what song. As I sat down to start writing this, this song happened to be on the radio. I took it as a sign :)
> 
> Song Credit: Avicii


	4. I Think It Would Be Good For Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian hasn't let go of the idea of Mickey utilizing his musical talents. He decides to enlist his family for some help with this.

A couple of weeks after Ian caught Mickey singing in the bedroom, he's home with Yev and bored. Since that day, Mickey has still been helping Ian practice, but their interaction seems strained. Otherwise, everything is fine. It's only weird when the guitar is involved. Because of that, their practice has tapered off a bit. The situation is like the proverbial elephant in the room. They clearly know what the problem is, but neither one of them will bring it up. Ian doesn't even feel as motivated to play with it by himself. As a result of this, Ian is really bored right now. He decides he wants to take Yev and get out of the house. He texts Mickey.

_Ian: Hey, getting a bit restless at home. Gonna take Yev to the park for a bit and then stop by and see my sibs. Tell Svetlana so she doesn't get home and wonder wtf is going on lol. Wanna meet me there for dinner?_  
 _Mickey: Sure, text me what time you guys are gonna eat. Let me know if I should bring anything._  
 _Ian: Ok_

Ian gets Yev's diaper bag together, gets them both dressed, and heads to the park. They don't wind up staying very long. Yev is still too little to do a whole lot besides toddle around unsteadily. Ian puts him in a baby swing and pushes him back and forth lazily for a little while, but soon he's ready to move on. He gathers him up and moves on to the Gallagher house. When he's almost there, it occurs to him that it's still kind of early to see anyone. It's only 1pm. Carl and Debbie are still in school, and Fiona may still be at work, which means she wouldn't have even picked Liam up from Pre-K yet. As he rounds the corner to the house, he sees Fiona coming from the opposite direction, holding Liam's hand. He lucked out after all. She sees him and her face lights up. 

"Hey stranger! Whatcha doing here?" she says, as she comes up and greets him with a hug, ruffling Yev's hair at the same time. "Got bored of hanging out at the house, took Yev to the park and then I figured I'd see if anyone was home. Guess I have good timing, since you're just getting here." Fiona laughs and replies "Yea, seems like you do. Come on, let's head in. Did you guys eat? I can scrounge up something for you." She moves through the house like a mini-tornado, throwing her stuff on the couch, moving straight into the kitchen as she takes Yev from Ian and plops him in Liam's old high chair, doubling back to grab a box of cereal off the top of the fridge and leaving a fistful of it on the tray for Yev to pick at. "Sit, sit. What's been going on with you? How's Mickey doing?" Fiona implores as she starts digging through the fridge to find lunch fixings for the rest of them. Ian smirks. She really never stops moving. "Oh, he's fine." Fiona glances at Ian. He's never been much for sharing (he's more like Mickey in that respect than he realizes), but that was vague even by his standards. "Fine? That's all I get about my brother in law? C'mon Ian, you can do better than that!" Ian just sort of shrugs at her. Instantly her suspicions are up. "C'mon, what's going on? Did you guys have a fight or something?" He ponders for a minute. "Well, not exactly, no." She's making sandwiches while she speaks to him. "Okay, so what's the problem then?" He debates whether to tell her about catching Mickey that day singing. Mickey is notoriously private. But Ian really does want someone else's thoughts on the situation, so he relents.

"Alright, we didn't exactly have a _fight_ , but here's what happened. Awhile back I bought a guitar. Sort of an impulse buy I guess, found it at a yard sale and got a good deal on it. I have so much free time and I guess I just wanted to try something new, ya know? So fine, I got this guitar and I was messing with it on my own and Mickey caught me one day when he came back to the house for something after he'd left. I was a little embarrassed, since I hadn't even told him I bought the damn thing, but as it turns out he knows how to play. So he started actually teaching me, and that was pretty cool. But then I came home one day and I overheard him singing and playing. He didn't realize I was there right away, because I didn't even interrupt him. I just wanted to listen. Fiona, I mean... It was beautiful. I had no idea, but he really can _sing_! Like, he should have a record deal or be one of those TV competition shows or some shit. He's _really good_. But when I was trying to tell him how good he was and how he should do something with it, he got all weird. We've been okay since but we haven't talked about it again at all, and we don't practice as much with the guitar. I feel bad, I wasn't trying to make him uncomfortable or anything. But I mean, I was blown away by how good he was, and I just felt like he was wasting that talent not doing anything about it. I want to bring it up to him again, but I don't want it to turn into a full-fledged fight." Ian sighs and brushes his hair back with one hand. "I don't really know what to do about it."

Fiona joins him at the table, taking a bite of her sandwich and chewing while she thinks. She finally says "Well, you know how he is. He may have been embarrassed, or maybe for whatever reason, he just doesn't want to. I understand how you feel about wasted talent, believe me. That's how Lip and I wound up in that war of 'Did I kick you out or did you leave?' when he wanted to quit school. Because I felt like he was wasting a brilliant mind, because he's just naturally smart in a way that none of the rest of us are, unfortunately for us. And you know what, if Mandy hadn't forced his hand by applying to schools for him, if people hadn't put their foot down and had kept on just letting him slide, like we all did for so long with him, he'd probably still be here in the Southside, no degree, shitty job. And so it goes." She takes another bite, thinking again. "But I can't tell you if backing Mickey against the wall would work the way it did for Lip. I don't know him well enough to say. You know him better than anyone, probably better than his own sister. You know how to soften him, how to deal with him, you saw in him what no one else ever could. You'll have to figure out for yourself what to do about it, whether it's worth it to do anything about it." She puts her hand over Ian's and smiles. He thinks about what she said and replies "Well, I don't want to force him. But I think it would be good for him. An outlet of sorts. He's so tightly wound. He works like a dog, I know he worries about me although he doesn't say it, he has Yev. I just think that it would be good, and it would be nice to see him do something for himself for once. And between you and me, I'd love to be able to show him off when he's in that zone, let people see how talented he is. People always look at a Milkovich in a certain way. Everyone does. It would be nice to prove them wrong for once." Fiona meets his eye and smiles that sneaky grin of hers. "Well then, find a way to do it." She winks at him and clears their plates. "I have to run to the store for some groceries. You staying for dinner?" Ian nods and says "Mickey too." She grabs her purse. "Great. Watch Liam until I'm back?" Ian nods and she blows him a kiss and heads out. And Ian starts to plot in his mind how he's going to get Mickey to pursue this music thing.


	5. Sing a Song for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian knows if he's going to get Mickey to utilize his talent, he's going to have to get creative.

Ian is up early, even for him. He has an early appointment at the clinic. He's progressed to monthly check-ins with his therapist. He sneaks out of bed slowly, not wanting to wake Mickey up, and heads for the kitchen. It's been a week and a half since Ian's conversation with Fiona, and he has spent every day trying to figure out just the right thing to get Mickey to do something with his musical talents. So far, nothing has come to mind. He puts on a pot of coffee and goes into the shower. Once he's done, he goes back in the kitchen to wrestle up some breakfast. He finds a few frozen waffles in the back of the freezer and pops them in the toaster. He pours himself a cup of coffee and waits for the waffles to be ready. He leaves a mug on the counter for Mickey, knowing his first stop when he wakes up will be the coffee pot. He sips at his coffee lazily and when the waffles are done, he looks for syrup but can't find any. He settles for slathering some peanut butter on them. He's just about done and he hears Mickey stirring in the bedroom. He stumbles out and, as expected, beelines directly for the coffee. After he fills his mug, he comes over to Ian for a morning kiss, standing on his tiptoes to reach him. Ian wraps his free arm around Mickey's shoulders and pulls him in for a hug too. Mickey nuzzles Ian's chest with his chin as he tilts his head up to him. "Mornin' Red." Ian smiles and offers Mickey a bite of the waffle, which Mickey happily accepts. "Morning yourself. Early therapy today, be back in a few hours. Need me to pick up anything while I'm out?" Mickey thinks for a minute. "Maybe some groceries? Take what you need from my wallet." Ian nods, takes a few bills and leaves Mickey with one last kiss before he's out the door.

Ian's earlier for his appointment than planned, the clinic isn't even open yet. He wanders over to the community center next door and starts reading flyers to kill some time. Very exciting stuff. Bake sales, an ad soliciting for babysitting jobs, lost dogs. He notices a bright blue paper in the corner, the color catching his attention. He glances over to read it and when he does, he snatches it off the billboard.

**SING? PLAY AN INSTRUMENT? DANCE?**   
**SOUTHSIDE TALENT SHOW**   
**CANARYVILLE COMMUNITY CENTER**   
**APRIL 18, 2015**   
**$20 BUY IN**

**FIRST PLACE - $500**   
**SECOND PLACE - $250**   
**THIRD PLACE - $100**

April 18 is just a few weeks away. Now THIS is something Ian can work with. He tucks the flyer into his pocket and goes back to the clinic for his appointment. Afterwards, he swings back to the community center and goes inside. He finds an employee to make sure the flyer was legit. The employee tells him that it is, and provides him with some more information than what was on the flyer. He runs his errands and heads home, groceries in tow, plotting just how to use this talent show to get Mickey performing. When Ian gets to the house, he's not even up the stairs to the front door and he hears Yev screaming and crying inside, and low, soothing murmurs underneath that. He opens the door and he finds Yev crying and Mickey pacing with him, singing a lullaby to soothe him. Yev's crying is already quieting down. Ian slowly sneaks in the door, not wanting to distract the baby. Mickey gives him a glance and a nod but keeps singing. Ian moves into the kitchen to put the food away, and once Yev is back to sleep, Mickey joins him and starts removing things from the bag and putting them away. "Kid woke up in a fit, think he had a bad dream or some shit." And here, Ian sees his opening. He responds, but doesn't look at Mickey. "Yea, but it seems like you got him calmed down pretty quick. You've got the touch. If I heard that voice singing me to sleep, I'd feel pretty good about it too." Mickey comes up behind him and wraps his arms around Ian's lanky waist. "Oh yea? That right?" Ian turns to face him, his own arms going around Mickey's shoulders and his face in Mickey's hair. "Mm-hmm." Mickey tilts his head up to Ian and says "Well, I might be able to do that for you." He smiles that trademark smile, the one that lights up his entire face. Ian smiles back and says "Well if that's the case, I have another idea." He reaches into his pocket, takes the flyer out and places it on the counter. Mickey opens it and reads it, and there is his other trademark - The Mickey Milkovich Scowl. "What the fuck is this Gallagher?"

Ian jumps before Mick can get too riled up. He has to play this just right. "Mick, before you get pissed off, just hear me out. Please? Can you do that?" He scowls deeper, but motions for Ian to continue. He does so in a rush, not wanting to give Mickey a chance to interject. "Look, I know that last time we talked about your singing you got pretty defensive. And I backed off, I haven't brought it up since. But every day I've woken up and I think about you singing. You sounded so... beautiful. And happy. It was so natural to you, and it was so awesome to see you like that. I haven't wanted to push you into doing something if you're not comfortable with it, but I can't help but think about it. And then I was going to my appointment today, and I happened to see this flyer. And I really think you should enter." He sees Mickey about to interrupt and he surges on. "No, I just asked you to hear me out. Just listen. Look at this flyer. If you won, or even if you just placed, you could make a profit for just putting in twenty bucks! And with your voice, you would at the very least place. So you'd 'invest' twenty so to say, and multiply that five times. It would be the easiest money you've ever made. You love a good hustle! Think of it like gambling. And if you don't win or place, I'll leave you alone about it from here forward. All you have to do is have three songs ready, it's done in rounds, I asked an employee. For each round you make it to, you perform one of the songs. Please? Just think about it before you say no." Mickey sighs. He does love a good hustle, and he really has trouble saying no to Ian. "Fine, I'll think about it. But NO PROMISES." Ian nods, knowing this is the best he's getting out of Mickey for now. "Deal. I'll start dinner, go relax."

Later, after some really hot sex, they're lying in bed together and Ian is dozing off, content in his post-sex bliss. Mickey turns to him and says "IF I agree to this proposal, there has to be some ground rules." Ian props himself up on his elbow facing Mickey back, and says "Okay, like what?" Mickey lists off his conditions, ticking them off one by one with his fingers. "First, you cannot be there when I practice, I'll just get flustered. Second, you can't even know what songs I'll do. Third, you will agree to make me pancakes anytime I want for a month. And fourth, you will bring me an entire case of Snickers bars, and not bitch and moan that I'm eating too much junk and shit." And this is the moment Ian knows he's won. He leans in and kisses Mickey and says "Deal. Now, you up for round two?" Mickey pulls him in, deepening the kiss, and that answers Ian's question.

The next day, Mickey is wondering what the fuck he got himself into. Three songs?! How the fuck is he supposed to find three songs to sing? He can't believe he let Ian woo him into this bullshit. But he's not one to go back on a deal, so like it or not he's going to do this. He figures he could do that one song Ian heard him sing already as his first. It's easy enough to remember, and he's got the guitar down for it. He pulls out his laptop and starts browsing through his music, trying to find something that he can work with for the other two. Gangster rap, gangster rap, death metal... Well none of that is going to do. He has some classic rock and starts playing snippets of songs, trying to find something that clicks with him. All of a sudden, he finds something that could work. He hums along a bit at first, then he grabs the guitar and starts tinkering with it, playing by ear a step behind the song itself. Yes, he can definitely work with this one. Finally, he starts going through his folder of dance music. Yes, dance music. After listening to so damn much of it when he would shadow Ian working in the clubs, he started to actually like it. When you get past the noise of it, some of those songs had pretty good lyrics. He could definitely figure out how to play one on the guitar. He skims through a bunch of them, listening to the words, and he settles on one he likes. He's found his three, for better or worse. And now, lots of practice to get them just right for the competition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave kudos/comments if you like this work. I also have others.
> 
> I'd love if you found me on Tumblr!
> 
> grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com


	6. Competition Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day is here, and Mickey may throw up on his shoes.

It's competition day, and Mickey is convinced he may throw up on his shoes. He figured he would be nervous but he wasn't expecting this. His stomach is churning a million miles an hour. His mind is racing nearly as fast to match. He can't believe he agreed to this, not even for all the pancakes and snickers bars he could get his hands on. He barely slept last night, tossing and turning, and he's feeling it this morning. He stumbles into the kitchen and puts on some coffee. He folds his arm and puts them on the counter, his head on top. His head is pounding. Ian enters and places the aspirin bottle next to Mickey's coffee mug. He always knows. Mickey mumbles into his arm. "NNNThnkszz." Ian strokes his hair, leans over and murmurs in his ear. "You okay, Mick?" He lifts his head and looks at Ian. "Didn't sleep, kinda freaking out about this damn talent shit." Now Ian feels bad. "Mick, if you don't want to do this, you don't have to. I won't hold it against you." Mickey lays his head on Ian's chest. "Fuck it, I practiced for weeks to learn these damn songs. I'm going to at least show up and give it a go. But if I puke, you get to clean it." Ian laughs at this and nods. "Deal."

"Maybe I just need some liquid courage." Mickey grabs the nearest liquor bottle and pours a generous shot in his coffee and takes a slug. Ian is horrified and his face shows it. Mickey just burps and says "I'm getting in the shower, make me some pancakes. Chocolate chip today. Breakfast of champions!" He laughs and takes another sip of his coffee as he goes in the bathroom. "Gross!" Ian says, as he starts rummaging through the cabinets for the pancake mix. After they're both showered, dressed and fed, they get their stuff together and head over to the community center.

They walk in and there are a ton of people there. The turnout for this thing was way bigger than either of them anticipated, and that queasy feeling is back, settled in the pit of Mickey's stomach. "Over here! Ian, Mickey!" They turn their heads towards their names being called and see a cluster of Gallaghers and Mandy, with Fiona and Debbie waving frantically, two seats saved just for them. Mickey turns to Ian with a death glare. "Really, did you have to invite EVERYONE??" Ian smirks and says "You didn't think my family was going to miss your debut, did you?" From behind them, they hear "Well we sure as shit weren't missing this either!" They turn around, and Kev and V are behind them. Mickey is ready to kill Ian, but it's too late. Ian has signed him in and steers him towards their seats. "Gallagher, if I get through this, you're a dead man." Mickey then proceeds to ignore everyone and start tuning the guitar. The last thing he needs is for the damn thing to bust out some ugly notes when he's on stage being gawked at.

The competition begins. Some of these people are taking advantage of the word "talent" very generously. But Mickey doesn't comment or snark about it. He doesn't want that bad karma before he goes on. There are also some who are quite good, and that only serves to make Mickey even more nervous. All of a sudden, Mickey hears his name and he feels a lump in his throat. Ian whispers in his ear. "You've got this, Mick." He gives his hand a reassuring squeeze. Mickey just nods, grabs the guitar and heads towards the stage. He follows the lead of the other singers before him. "Hi, I'm Mickey. This is Wake Me Up." He clears his throat and just goes for it, singing the song that Ian first overheard him singing in the house. The Gallaghers, the Balls and Mandy are stunned. Who knew that voice would come out of him? They alternate between staring at him, staring at each other, and gaping. When the song is over, Mickey gets a nice round of applause from the general audience, and a standing ovation from his people. This helps to reassure him. He heads back to his seat and they're all over him. After a few moments, they have to settle down, as there are other people coming up to perform. But they keep jostling at him and whispering at how good he was. Although he will probably never admit it, he's touched that they all came to see him perform. When the performances are done, they have to wait for what feels like an eternity to find out who made it through to round two. The judges start calling out names and HOLY SHIT MICKEY MADE IT! They all go nuts! Ian gives Mickey a huge hug and they get ready for the next song.

When his turn comes up again, Mickey goes to the stage and says. "Hello, me again. This is Right Here Right Now."

_Switch your mind off_   
_Take a deep breath_   
_Let it all go_   
_I know we’re not perfect_   
_We speak a language_   
_Of young hearts_   
_I want you to know now, ohhhh_

_That when the stars come out_   
_I want to be with you_   
_Let the world drift away_   
_And make the most of today_   
_When the stars come out_   
_I want to be with you_   
_We could forget about tomorrow_   
_Cuz all we’ve got_   
_Is right here right now_

_Right here right now_   
_We are young and free_   
_And all we will ever need_   
_Is right here right now_   
_Right here right now_

_We can hold on tonight_   
_Maybe somehow freeze the sunrise_   
_Make every second ours_   
_You've got me feeling so high_   
_Floating up to cloud nine_

_You put a spell on me_   
_Magical energy_   
_You put a spell on me_   
_Magical energy_

_When the stars come out_   
_I want to be with you_   
_We could forget about tomorrow_   
_Cuz all we’ve got_

_Is right here right now_   
_Right here right now_   
_We are young and free_   
_And all we will ever need_   
_Is right here right now_

Jesus, was it possible that Mickey did even better with this song? Ian noticed a rawness in Mickey's voice that wasn't there during the first song, and he was really turned on watching and listening to him. Man, did he hope Mickey would keep up with this. Ian should just woo him with sexual pleasures to get him to keep singing and playing that guitar forever. The crowd seemed to agree, giving Mickey even more applause than the first round along with some cheers for good measure. He goes back to his seat and he's feeling really good about this now. Who'd have thought that would happen? He leaned into Mickey and whispered "Holy shit, Mick. Talk about a panty dropper. Wait until I get you home." Mickey just looked at Ian and winked, and this is what Ian loved more than anything. Mickey was finally starting to understand that he was really good. He got his cockiness back, his swagger. Ian always loved Mickey's swagger. That's what drew him in to begin with.

After an even longer deliberation, the judges announced the finalist for the third song. The last name they called was Mickey's, and their group went absolutely nuts. Mickey had to calm them down. "Whoa, whoa, calm the fuck down Gallaghers and Friends, I haven't won this shit yet!" Kevin laughed and said "Yet, huh?" Mickey turned to him and smiled. "Oh yea, Steven Seagal, I got this. Don't you worry."

When Mickey gets called up for his final song, he pauses for a second, collecting his thoughts. "I just want to dedicate this song, all these songs actually, to my love. I couldn't have, WOULDN'T HAVE, done this without you. Thank you for believing in me. I hope you know that when I sing, I sing to you. I sing FOR you. This is Love Will Keep Us Alive."

_I was standing all alone against the world outside_   
_You were searching for a place to hide_   
_Lost and lonely now you've given me the will to survive_   
_When we're hungry love will keep us alive_

_Don't you worry, sometimes you've just gotta let it ride_   
_The world is changing right before your eyes_   
_Now I've found you, there's no more emptiness inside_   
_When we're hungry love will keep us alive_

_I would die for you_   
_Climb the highest mountain_   
_Baby there's nothing I wouldn't do_

_Now I've found you there's no more emptiness inside_   
_When we're hungry love will keep us alive_

_I would die for you_   
_Climb the highest mountain_   
_Baby there's nothing I wouldn't do_

_I was standing all alone against the world outside_   
_You were searching for a place to hide_   
_Lost and lonely now you've given me the will to survive_   
_When we're hungry love will keep us alive_   
_When we're hungry love will keep us alive_   
_When we're hungry love will keep us alive_

The judges could barely get the crowd to stop cheering when he was finished. After the final contestants have gone, they do their last round of debating and voting. It feels like it takes an eternity. They announced third place, some chick who looks vaguely familiar and played some pretty wicked jazz saxophone songs. Second place goes to some hippie looking guy, who looks like he will be spending his winnings on Birkenstocks and primo weed. Mickey's foot is jittering up and down in anticipation. Ian is holding one hand, Mandy the other. 

The head judge stands up. "And our first place winner, going home today with FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS... Mickey Milkovich."

Ian scoops him into a bear hug and jumps up and down with him. Mandy is slapping at his arm in disbelief, and the rest of them are jumping and yelling. Mickey just feels euphoria. He goes up to the stage to collect his prize. He can't believe this is even happening. Kevin yells "Celebratory party at The Alibi. Mickey's buying!" and the group lets out a cheer as they drag him out of the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave comments/kudos! Also feel free to find me on Tumblr. 
> 
> grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com
> 
> Song Credits for this chapter:  
> Sander Van Doorn - Right Here Right Now  
> The Eagles - Love Will Keep Us Alive


	7. Mickey the Musician?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winning the competition seems to be providing Mickey with some new opportunities. What's next for he and Ian?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is coming so long after the last chapter, I was away for a few days but now I'm back! As always, please kudos or comment if you like the story! And feel free to find me on Tumblr.
> 
> grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com

Two months have passed since the competition, and summer is right around the corner in Chicago. Mickey had no expectations about what that day could have brought, but maybe that's why it has been a turning point in his life. When he was performing, he didn't know that there was a man there, Gerald, who owned a few upscale lounges and bars in Boystown. He had followed the group to The Alibi and approached Mickey with an offer to perform a few nights a week, dividing his time between the different locations unless he drew a following in one particular place. Mickey was hesitant, until he learned that Gerald wanted to start him at $100 each night, and was open to more if Mickey drew a good crowd. The money was pretty tempting, and after talking it over with Ian, Mickey had agreed to it. He took half of his winnings and gave them to Svetlana, took part of what was left and bought an electric guitar off a guy online, and put away the rest for a rainy day. Between this new gig and the rub and tug, maybe he would be able to finally get ahead instead of scraping along. He'd been at it for about six weeks, and it was going great. The crowds really seemed to like Mickey's performing, and were very generous with leaving him tips on top of the money Gerald was paying him. They flirted with him constantly, which made him a bit uncomfortable, but he realized if he just stayed neutral and friendly instead of snapping at them, that his tips only got better, so he learned to go along with it. He finally saw why Ian always let those guys hit on him, although the clients at these places weren't as sleazy. Which was probably the only reason Mickey didn't lose it. For the first time that he could remember, money actually wasn't an issue for Mickey. He was squirreling it away left and right, and even paid for Ian to take his GED, just because he could. That had felt awesome. Ian had of course passed, and would be starting at the community college in the fall. For the first time, life felt pretty normal.

Mickey had been thinking a lot lately about his and Ian's future, something he didn't normally do. Part of that being because he had been emotionally stunted for so long, but part of it was also because their lives never seemed to be stable enough to think about what came next. They had always had to worry about dealing with the next problem, drama, craziness. But things had been in a nice routine for some time now, and Mickey wanted to run with that in a new direction. He came home from work one night, late as usual, and Ian was waiting up for him. He usually was. Mickey kissed him hello and said "I'm glad you're up. I actually wanted to talk to you about something." That caught Ian's attention. "Sure Mick, what's up?" Mickey started to get undressed as he talked. "Well, I've been doing some thinking. Things have been going pretty good with these gigs, and everything has been pretty calm for awhile now. I was thinking about us, and how nice it would be if maybe we got our own place and got out of this shithole." Ian loves the idea, but he also wants to be practical. "Mick, can we afford that? And what about Mandy, Svetlana, Yev? Like how would this all work?" Mickey gets in bed with him and lays out his plan for Ian. "Well, they can all stay here as they were. I've been really making bank with this music gig, so I was thinking of talking to Svetlana and letting her take over my half of the rub and tug. I hate dealing with that anyway. And then she wouldn't need to turn out, which I'm sure she would like anyway. She'd be getting more than whatever I'm giving her. It's a pretty sweet deal for her. As for Mandy, she has a job so she'll chip in for stuff too. If we get a small apartment nearby, maybe a studio, we should totally be able to afford it and still be nearby if we need to be." Ian considers all of this. Clearly, Mickey has been doing a lot of thinking about it. "Well, what about me? I want to be able to help out too but I'm still only working a couple of days a week at the Kash and Grab. Not exactly making the big bucks to help out with rent." Mickey strokes his hair and says "Don't even worry about that. If it bothers you that much you can buy groceries or some shit. You're starting school in the fall, focus on that. One of us needs to get the education, and it ain't gonna be me. I'd rather you deal with that." He really has an answer for everything. "Hmm, well how about you talk to Svetlana and see how agreeable she will be before we plan anything?" Mickey smiles and says "Great, we can talk to her tomorrow. For now, let's get some sleep. I'm beat." With that, he kisses Ian goodnight and turns off the lamp next to the bed.

The next morning, when Ian wakes up Mickey's already out of bed. He leaves the room and goes into the kitchen, where Mickey, Mandy and Svetlana are sitting at the table with coffees in hand. "Morning, Red. Come join us, I was just explaining my idea to Svetlana and Mandy." Ian grabs a cup of coffee and sits down in the free chair between Svetlana and Mandy. Svetlana smiles at him. "So Orange Boy, you two are moving to apartment, yes? Will you paint big rainbows on walls for everyone to see?" Ian smirks at her. She teases them, but it's much more lighthearted now than in the beginning. "I don't know about rainbows, they don't really match my skin tone." She laughs at this. "Either way, before we do anything we want to make sure it works for everyone involved." She pats his hand and says "Don't worry about me, I think this is good for you. You should be living like a couple, not in crazy house with Russian wife and other bullshit. I'll take over business with the girls, give Yevgeny your room. I'll have more privacy and not have to listen to you two. Everyone wins." Ian looks over at Mandy and says "What do you think?" She smiles and says "Well, it was certainly nice having my best friend living under the same roof, but I suppose I'll live if I have to come visit you instead. Just don't move too far away." He leans over and hugs her. "Trust me, we won't." They all split up at that point, Svetlana to attend to Yev, Mandy to get ready for work, Mickey and Ian back to their bedroom to start plotting how to find a place.

They don't have a computer, so they can't browse online here. They get dressed and go to the Gallagher house to use the laptop. As they're browsing, they find that in the southside, a few dollars goes further than they thought. They find not just studios, but houses they can afford. They find a three bedroom duplex in their budget that's not too far away, and call to go see it. It's just a few blocks from the train, the street is nice and most of the inside looks like it was recently redone. Ian can see that Mickey is sold right away. He points to the smallest of the bedrooms and says "That can be Yev's room when he stays with us. We can use the other bedroom for storage and whatever else and the big one will be ours." Ian can't help but feel his heart swell looking at Mickey's face. He is radiating happiness. They agree to it on the spot and sign the lease, with Mickey giving them the deposit. Ian didn't even realize he had brought the money with him. Things just got real. Mickey looks at him and says "Guess we had better start packing." They practically run home to do so.

One thing they hadn't thought about was all the things they didn't realize they would need. "Shit Mick, we need more furniture than just the bed and the dresser. We have a bunch of rooms to fill up! And kitchen stuff and bathroom stuff. How did we not think about any of this?" Mickey waves him off. "Don't worry so much, Red. We'll figure it out. We will just get stuff bit by bit. Just start making a list by room and we'll get what we need first and worry about the rest later." Ian grabs a paper and pen and starts writing things down while Mickey fills boxes with clothes and their personal effects. When Ian has the list done, he's even more concerned. There is a lot of stuff on this list. Mickey however is unfazed and promises they will work on it. He got his cousin to bring over his van and they pack their stuff up and bring it over to the new place. They spend the rest of the day and most of the night unpacking their few possessions, setting up their bed and dresser, running out to get a few groceries to hold them over. As they're laying in bed that night, reveling in the quiet of the house, Mickey kisses Ian and says "Welcome home."


	8. Take Me Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian has never felt jealousy with Mickey and other men... Until now.

They have been living in the new place for two weeks. Ian has busied himself with getting things squared away, including running a lot of errands to get things they need from the list he had written up. Little by little, it's coming together. They still haven't bothered with big stuff like furniture yet, except for a crib for Yev to sleep in when he's there. Mickey spoke with Gerald about working more nights, and he's now working 5 nights a week. Gerald also gave him a pay increase on any Friday and Saturday night shifts he performs. This has been great for their finances, but Ian has been feeling a bit lonely, although he knows that they need the money. It's Friday night, and Ian is dealing with the house as usual. While it's been nice watching it become more like a home, Ian secretly finds it boring. He realizes that part of what was always great about his and Mickey's relationship was the unpredictability. Sometimes of course, it worked out very poorly. But he craved that bit of adventure, of mystery, that had always come along with dating Mickey. Nowadays, you could practically set a clock by every move the two of them made. He realizes that since Mickey's been doing this new gig, he hasn't actually visited him while he was working, not even once. He can't believe he didn't notice that before. Mickey used to visit him constantly when he was working in the clubs. But then, Mickey wanted to make sure the old pervs kept away from him. Ian decides right then that he's going to surprise Mickey. He hops in the shower and gets dressed, throwing on some fitted jeans, a white t-shirt and a leather bomber jacket. He's out the door in a flash.

Ian gets to Push, the lounge Mickey is working at tonight, and sneaks a seat at an empty table in the back. He wants to just watch him, not distract him for now. Mickey is really working it. His stage presence has grown by leaps and bounds, and he looks like he was born to be a performer. He's also smartened up and puts in more effort with his clothes now. Ian has been rubbing off on him. He's got on black jeans, a blue fitted V-neck t-shirt that makes his eyes pop, and nicer sneakers that Ian had gotten for him last Christmas. And he is looking _good_. Ian's mind wanders as he listens to Mickey, mainly to what he wants to do with him when he gets home. Then he realizes that Mickey's taking a break. He sees Mickey walk over to the bar for a drink, and start talking to the bartender and a patron, clearly friendly with them. Ian thinks nothing of the bartender, but can't help but notice how the patron is eyeballing Mickey. He leans over and says something to Mickey, unheard by anyone else, and Mickey gives a good laugh at it. Ian immediately feels annoyed, he's staring this guy down with narrowly slit eyes. He feels himself opening and closing his hands, balling them into fists and releasing. It occurs to him that he's jealous. He doesn't think he's ever felt jealousy when it comes to Mickey, but then again, Mickey is usually an asshole to people. There's not much to be jealous of there. Ian decides right then that he's going to break up this little party before he lets his jealousy get the better of him.

He sneaks up behind Mickey and whispers in his ear. "Room for another over here?" Mickey whips around, startled and not realizing for a second who was talking to him. When it clicks that it's Ian, his eyes light up. "Hey! Whatcha doing here?" Ian, still feeling suspicious, replies. "Wanted to surprise you. Realized today that I'd never been to visit you while you were working, figured it was time to change that." Mickey puts his hand on the back of Ian's neck tenderly, and pulls his head down to kiss him. "Well this is the best surprise ever! Let me introduce you. This is Jeremy and Dante. Guys, this is my boyfriend Ian." Jeremy, the bartender, throws him a wave as he deals with another customer. Dante, however, is much more interested. "Wow, so you're the boyfriend that Mickey is always RAVING about! Tall drink of water you got here Mickey! Nice to finally put the name and the face together." Ian is feeling very possessive, and wraps his arm around Mickey's shoulder, pulling him in tight. "Yep. That's me." Mickey looks at Ian, and he knows something's up. Ian is usually super friendly and chats with anyone. But he doesn't say anything, he's waiting to see how this plays out. After an awkward silence, Mickey looks up at the clock and says to Ian, "Shit, I'm back on in a minute. Sticking around?" Ian smiles down at him and says "Wouldn't miss it." Mickey heads back on stage and watches as Dante starts talking Ian's ear off. He had thought that Ian would warm up and start talking to him once Mickey was busy again, but Ian's not giving him an inch. He occasionally nods, or throws him a one word answer, but Mickey can tell that Ian's not hearing a word Dante says. When his set is finally over, he goes to meet up with Gerald to get his pay for the night, and when he returns he sees Ian finally lean in and say something to Dante. But it doesn't look pleasant. Ian's jaw is tensed, and Dante looks like he's been slapped. Ian grabs his jacket and heads for Mickey, grabbing his hand and pulling him as he leaves. "Ian, what the fuck?! What just happened?" Ian is still pulling him along, eyes straight ahead. "Nothing." Now Mickey yanks his hand out of Ian's grip, which forces Ian to stop. He doesn't look at Mickey, just stares out into the distance until Mickey actually grabs his head and makes Ian look at him. "Ian, I'm serious. What the hell was that in there? What did you say to him?"

Ian lets out an offended sounding sniff. "Told him that he could stop being your groupie. That the only person you were leaving with, tonight or any night, would be me." Mickey is furiously biting at the inside of his mouth, doing that lip thing he does, and trying his hardest not to laugh. He finally understands. "Ian, are you jealous?" Ian scoffs, but Mickey knows he's hit the nail on the head. "Holy shit, you are. You're jealous! Ian..." He tries to finish, but the laughter comes pouring out. He can't even help it. Now Ian is mad at him. "Great, glad you think it's HILARIOUS Mick. Thanks, fuck off." He storms down the street and Mickey chases after him. "C'mon Red, slow DOWN." He catches up to him and grabs his hand. "Ian, I'm sorry. I am, I didn't mean to laugh at you. But you have to see the irony. You used to love when I'd come visit you and get super jealous of all those old farts trying to get in your pants. You have to know that no matter who flirts with me, it doesn't matter. Because you're it for me. I mean, Jesus, I got into doing this music shit because of you. You do know these things, right?" Ian sighs. "Yea, I know. I'm sorry Mick, I don't know what got into me. It just bothered me. I guess I've just been missing you. Which sounds stupid, since we live together, but you've just been working so much and it's lonely at night when you're not home. And I shouldn't complain, since I'm the one who got you into this. But there it is. I just miss you." Mickey strokes Ian's hand with his thumb. "I miss you too. Take me home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We see in the show Mickey dealing with jealousy about the attention that Ian gets from other men, but we never see the opposite. The only thing close to jealousy we ever see from Ian is everything dealing with Yev's christening, but that was never a real threat to them or Mickey's feelings for Ian. I thought it would be fun to touch on a situation that was, at least in Ian's mind. Feel free to leave some kudos or comments if you like the story, and to find me on Tumblr. 
> 
> grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com


	9. Sometimes I Don't Know Myself Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey struggle with getting to the root of Ian's jealous outburst

Ian wakes up and rolls over, expecting Mickey to be curled up beside him, but it seems he's already gotten up. Ian looks at the clock and quickly figures out why. It's nearly 1:30 in the afternoon. He sits up and throws the blanket off. He gets out of bed and throws on his jeans from last night, still crumpled on the floor from when they got home last night and Mickey yanked them off. He emerges from the bedroom and goes downstairs, smelling something delicious as he enters the kitchen. Mickey is sitting there, drinking some coffee and reading the paper. Where the paper came from, who knows. Mickey probably swiped it from a neighbor's yard. "Morning, Red. Breakfast will be ready in a few. Coffee's in the pot." He stretches his face up for a kiss and Ian obliges. He looks at the stove, but there's nothing there. "I don't see any food Mick." Mickey smirks and says "In the oven. Frittata. Got the recipe from some cookbook Mandy snuck in with our stuff. Guess she figured I needed to learn to cook more than pancakes." Ian peeks in the oven, and whatever is in there, it sure looks good and smells even better. No complaints here. He grabs some coffee and sits down next to Mickey just as Mickey gets up to deal with breakfast. He takes the frittata out of the oven and goes about dishing some up for the two of them. He hands Ian a plate and sits back down with his own. They start eating, and it is in fact quite good. Mickey watches Ian eating, chewing slowly. After a minute or two of this, Ian looks up at him and says "What?" Mickey shrugs and says "Are we going to talk about what was really behind that stunt you pulled last night? Or just pretend it didn't happen?"

Ian sighs. "I don't know. Part of it was because I've been feeling lonely, like I said. And part of it I guess is because lately I feel kind of lost. For years, I had this dream, this goal to be in the military. Be an officer. Then I pulled that bullshit with enlisting and faking my ID and I'm just lucky that I'm not in jail for it right now. But obviously my chance at ever reaching that goal is gone. And ever since, I think I've lost my purpose. I did the dancing, but that was desperation and mania at work. It wasn't a goal, it was a means to an end for the time. I went through everything with the depression and recovering from that but now I don't know where I belong. It's hard to find yourself when you lose yourself. Sometimes I don't know myself anymore." Mickey reaches for his hand and gives it an encouraging squeeze to continue. "Look at Fiona. She was forced into a situation to raise us, and she rose to the occasion. Lip was always the smart one, so no matter what everyone just knew he would make something for himself. The rest of them are typical kids, figuring themselves out. I was always the one who had the drive, who knew what I wanted and how to get it, but it fell apart. And now I just don't know. I got the guitar but that has become more of your thing, and honestly I'm glad for it because it's really been great for you. But I just don't know where any of it leaves me. I spend my days here playing house. And don't get me wrong, I love this life we are building together. But my goal was never to play house husband, buying towels and microwaves and shit." Mickey scoots his chair closer to Ian's and says "Listen, Red. I know what it's like to not know what to do with yourself. But fact is you are the hardest working person I know. You're starting school in just a few months. You can get your two year degree, use the time to figure what you want to do, and take it from there. And anything that I can do to help, I'm all in. But don't be so hard on yourself. If you need something for you, go for it. A new job, a hobby, whatever it may be. But next time don't wait so long to talk to me about it. It shouldn't take you pulling one of my moves on a guy at the lounge to get the truth out of you. Deal?" Ian leans in and kisses him. "Deal."

Mickey has an idea. "Ian, if it would help to break up your routine and get you out of the house more, I can talk to Gerald and see if he's got any bartending openings at one of his spots. Couple of nights a week. His spots aren't like the clubs, they're more low key. Better crowd. Money is still good. I can see if I can get you on some of the nights I work so we can spend more time together. What do you think?" Ian thinks this over for a minute and says "Sure, why not? Then I can keep tabs on Dante and all the other guys who think they're going to flirt with my man." Mickey laughs at this and leans in for a kiss. "They see you coming for them, I'm sure they'll turn tail real fuckin' quick. You keep this up and you're going to get quite the reputation." Ian smirks and replies "Well, who said you get to be the only thug in this relationship anyway?" Now they're both laughing, and it feels good to lighten the mood. Ian starts cleaning up their breakfast mess and Mickey says "Leave it in the sink, I've got a better idea. Get dressed." Ian looks at him, confused. "C'mon Red, just get dressed." Ian asks "Well, can I at least take a shower?" Mickey thinks for a few seconds and replies "Yea, that'll work. Go ahead." Ian heads for the bathroom and he hears Mickey rustling around in the kitchen. When he's done showering, he comes out and finds Mickey dressed and with a bag of... something, Ian has no idea what. Ian throws on some clothes and as they're about to leave, Mickey grabs the acoustic guitar, the one Ian bought. He hasn't seen Mickey use it since he got the electric one for work, and he's intrigued but he says nothing. He's sure he will find out soon enough what Mickey has in mind.

When they get to their destination, Ian is confused and almost irritated. What the fuck does Mickey want with these old abandoned buildings? The last time they were here was a very dark time in their relationship. Ian never had replaced the tooth that Mickey had kicked clear out of his head. He had mostly forgotten about it, but now he's nervously sticking his tongue in the spot where that tooth used to be. "Mick, should I even ask what the fuck we're doing here?" Mickey gives him that big toothy grin that still makes Ian weak in the knees. "We're having a picnic." Ian just stares at him. "What?" Mickey opens his bag and takes out a sheet, spreading it out on the floor. "A picnic. And we are going to stay here until it gets dark and look at the stars." Ian is convinced this must be a code for something, because Mickey Milkovich did not just tell him they are having a damn picnic. "Uh, Mick? Is this for real? Don't you have work later?" Mickey smiles again. "Nope, called in sick while you were in the shower. I'm all yours tonight." Now he's taking food out of the bag. Ian wants to think this is sweet but it's just kind of weird given that it's Mickey. They sit down and Mickey looks at Ian. "I'm sure you're wondering what the fuck I'm doing. I've been saving this date for a rainy day. Thought today was a good day, since we don't really get to go on dates much lately. I thought of it awhile ago when I remembered how I'd made fun of this very type of date that night we had sex for the first time in the dugouts. Thought it would be a nice irony to plan one of these dates." Now Ian gets it, and he actually does think it's sweet instead of weird. Although he could have thought of a number of better places to go. "But why here, Mick?" He just shrugs and says "I don't want to think about shitty things in shitty places anymore. Wanted to make sure that if we never come here after this, that the last memory is a good one." Ian leans over and kisses him. The kiss quickly grows more intense, and soon they are pulling each others' clothes off and rolling around on the sheet. 

After they have had sex not once, but twice, they throw their clothes back on and start eating some of the food Mickey has brought. The sun is going down and Mickey says "One more surprise. I learned this song awhile ago, but wanted to save it for a special day. This song always makes me think of you." He grabs the guitar and starts singing.

_I'll be kind, if you'll be faithful_   
_You be sweet and I'll be grateful_   
_Cover me with kisses dear_   
_Lighten up the atmosphere_   
_Keep me warm inside our bed_   
_I got dreams of you all through my head_   
_Fortune teller said I'd be free_   
_And that's the day you came to me_   
_Came to me_

_Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo_

_Come to me my sweetest friend_   
_Can you feel my heart again_   
_I'll take you back where you belong_   
_And this will be our favorite song_   
_Come to me with secrets bare_   
_I'll love you more so don't be scared_   
_When we're old and near the end_   
_We'll go home and start again_

_Ooo Ooo Oooo, Ooo Ooo Oooo_

_I caught you burnin' photographs_   
_Like that could save you from your past_   
_History is like gravity_   
_It holds you down away from me_   
_You and me, we've both got sins_   
_I don't care about where you've been_   
_Don't be sad and don't explain_   
_This is where we start again_   
_Start again_

_Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo_

_Come to me my sweetest friend_   
_Can you feel my heart again_   
_I'll take you back where you belong_   
_And this will be our favorite song_   
_Come to me with secrets bare_   
_I'll love you more so don't be scared_   
_When we're old and near the end_   
_We'll go home and start again_   
_Start again_

_Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo_

_Today's the day I'll make you mine_   
_So get me to the church on time_   
_Take my hand in this empty room_   
_You're my guy, and I'm your groom_

_Come to me my sweetest friend_   
_This is where we start again, again_

_Come to me my sweetest friend_   
_Can you feel my heart again_   
_Take you back where you belong_   
_This will be our favorite song_   
_Come to me with secrets bare_   
_I'll love you more so don't be scared_   
_When we're old and near the end_   
_We'll go home and start again (yeah)_   
_Start again (yeah)_

When he's finished, Ian grabs him and pulls him back down to the blanket, kissing him as he starts undressing Mickey again. And with that, they're ready for round three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With everything that Ian has gone through, it was only a matter of time before he struggled with his identity, and I wanted to get into that in this chapter.
> 
> Also, song credit: Goo Goo Dolls


	10. Trouble on the Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things can never stay calm forever in Ian and Mickey's world.

It's fall now, about four months since Ian and Mickey's night in the abandoned buildings. After that night, Mickey brought Ian to meet Gerald, who didn't have any bartending openings available, but did need a waiter a few nights a week at Push. He offered Ian the position, and he gladly took it. Gerald was also understanding that Ian was starting college, and said that if things worked out well with Ian's job this summer, he would be happy to work around his class schedule when the time came. Once Ian was working and got to see more of Mickey, the summer flew by. Ian has started his classes and so far is doing well. Between school and work, he's definitely not bored like he was when they first got their new place. 

It's Friday night, and Mickey and Ian are both working. Dante comes in with his boyfriend, Trevor. They asked to be seated in Ian's section. After their initial meeting, Ian had apologized for his behavior and now they all get along. They have actually started hanging out with Dante and Trevor when they have the time. Ian sees Mickey go on break, but before Mickey can come say hi to them, Gerald pulls him aside. Ian sees them talking and Mickey's eyes light up. Gerald hands Mickey something and goes back to his office. Mickey comes over to Dante's table, where Ian is bringing them drinks, and says "You guys aren't going to believe this! Gerald just came up to me and told me a friend of his who is recording an album for someone is looking for a guitarist, says the one they had quit! He recommended me! Gave me the guy's card and told me to call him for an audition!" His eyes are shining, and Ian loves that look. "Mick, that's great! This could be a really big deal!" He kisses him and Mickey gets that shy look. "Well, I know, but I don't want to get too excited yet. I'm going to call him tomorrow, see how it goes before I bank on it." Ian smiles. "Of course. I get it. You're off break soon right? Want me to get you a drink or something for when you're back on?" Mick smiles and says "Sure, get me a beer. I gotta hit the bathroom before I go back up." Ian gives him another kiss and goes off to get his beer, which he leaves on the stage. When they leave that night, Mickey looks like he's floating in the clouds. He hears his phone beep, and he wonders who would be texting him at this time of night. Usually it would be Ian, but he's next to him. He pulls out his phone and sees it's from Mandy.

_Mandy: Trouble on the horizon..._

"Shit." Mickey mumbles under his breath. He knows exactly what that means, it's a code they have used for years. He starts furiously pecking away a response, and one look at Mickey's face has Ian very concerned. "What's wrong, Mick?" Mickey doesn't even hear him, he's too engrossed in his phone.

_Mickey: You've got to be fucking kidding me. When?_   
_Mandy: Word is he's back on Monday. You know he's going to ask for you._   
_Mickey: Fuck him, tell him I died._   
_Mandy: I don't want to get into this with him Mick._   
_Mickey: I don't care. If he doesn't want a gay son he's not going to have me as his son at all. Some shit father he was anyway. Tell him I died, tell him I ran away to Broadway, I don't care. But don't tell him where we are. Don't need that SOB showing up at my door._

Mickey stops then, crouching down and pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. This can't really be happening. It was so easy to forget about him all this time. Ian is very worried, and kneels down on the street next to him. He puts his hand on Mickey's back and rubs it slowly. "Mickey, what the hell is going on? Is everything alright?" Mickey shakes his head and looks up at Ian. "Terry."

By the time they actually get home, Mickey has worked himself into a state. "Fuck it, I'll just kill him. Who's going to miss him anyway? I'll sneak back to the house and shoot him with one of his own guns. The police will probably throw a parade. Maybe I'll get a reward. I need a plan, I should make a plan. Maybe I shouldn't shoot him, he's always packing. He might shoot me first. I should get Mandy, Svetlana and Yev out of the house and just blow it up. Set a fire. No one will investigate too hard. Maybe a hit and run. Steal a car and just mow him down." He is pacing back and forth through the living room. Ian is trying to reason with him, but Mickey doesn't even seem to notice he's there. Finally, Ian gets up and steps in Mickey's path, grabbing him by the shoulders. "MICK. Listen to me, you are being ridiculous. You're not going to kill Terry." Mickey shrugs him off and replies "You don't get it Ian. I can't live like this anymore. I. CAN'T. LIVE. LIKE. THIS. Knowing he's out there, just waiting for him to do something. Because trust me, he will. I'm not doing it. I'm not waiting for him to make the first move." His voice makes Ian's blood run cold, and he knows Mickey is serious. "Mick, PLEASE. You can't go after him. If you get arrested and go to jail, this all falls apart. Everything we have worked for together. I can't keep this place without you, fuck that, I can't BE without you. I can't risk losing you over that prick." This finally resonates with Mickey, and he stops pacing. He grabs Ian's face and says "Don't you understand? I want him gone so that we don't ever have to worry about being separated anymore. I don't want to live my life looking over my shoulder. We have been free to be together since the night I came out and that shithead got arrested. I don't want to have to hide from him anymore, but unless he's out of the picture that's exactly what will happen. Because he'll find me eventually, or find out that we are still together and come find you. If he hurts you I can't live with that." He buries his face in Ian's chest, still holding Ian's face in his hands. 

"Mickey, the biggest fuck you we can give him is to live our lives unaffected by him. So tomorrow, you are going to call that number Gerald gave you and set up an audition for the guitarist gig. We are going to go to work and school and Terry can go fuck himself. And if he does come after one of us, we are not going to kill him. We will let the law deal with it. We will tell whoever we need to tell that he's getting out and they can be on the alert too, just in case. I don't want to hear another word about you running off and killing Terry. Because fuck him, he doesn't get to run or ruin either of our lives anymore. I'm not living according to what he may or may not do, and neither are you." Ian's voice is firm and finally, Mickey lifts his head from Ian's chest and nods in agreement. "Now Mick, I am taking you into our bedroom and we are going to have some very hot and super gay sex. Terry would LOVE THAT." Mickey finally laughs and lets Ian guide him into the bedroom.

The next day, they go to the Gallaghers house for breakfast. The whole gang is there, including Lip, who is in for the weekend from college. Mandy is there as well, as they asked her to meet them there, and so are Kev and V, who Ian asked Fiona to invite over. When they're done eating and before they can go about their day, Ian says "Everyone, before any of you leave, Mickey and I need to talk to you about something." They all look at Ian, waiting for what he's about to say. "So, we got word last night that Terry is supposed to be released from prison, it looks like he's getting out on Monday." The whole group is in an uproar. They all know about what happened at The Alibi. Ian motions them all to be quiet. "Listen, listen. We don't know what, if anything, Terry will do. But we aren't taking our chances either. We are going to do our best to just avoid him. But if any of you see him and he asks about either of us, just play dumb. Tell them I've been gone for awhile, tell them you don't talk to Mickey and don't know his whereabouts. Say whatever you have to say to get him to drop it, but don't tell him where we are. Better safe than sorry." Debbie, always the worrier, looks particularly concerned and asks "Why don't you guys just get orders of protection against him?" Mickey looks at her and replies "Because that wouldn't stop him anyway. Better to not attract his attention that way." Fiona, thinking of how Terry burst into their house that one time on the warpath, vows to get better locks for their house, just in case. Kev chimes in and says "I'm sure Terry will stop down at the bar at some point. Although I plan to make it very clear to him that he's not welcome there after his last visit. I'll figure that out when it comes." They try to tell Kev not to bother, to just keep the peace with him and let him go there, but Kev won't hear anything about it. With everyone on the alert, they all split up to continue what they were doing, but Mickey and Ian ask Mandy to come with them.

The three of them leave the Gallagher house and while they're walking, Mickey says "Mands, I think you and Svetlana and Yev should move in with us in our new place. Just to be safe." She sneers at him and replies "You guys got that place so you could have your own lives, talk about a setback." Mickey shrugs and says "I know, but that was before this. I don't think you guys should risk staying there in his path." She scoffs and says "Please, he's not going to do anything to me." Ian chimes in, quietly, "Mandy, we know that's not necessarily true. We just want to make sure you guys are all safe too." She tears up, she knows exactly what he's implying. Ian puts his arm around her shoulder. "C'mon, just come live with us until he's back in jail, we all know he won't last too long out here in the real world anyway." She sniffs and nods. They walk to the Milkovich house to help her pack her stuff. Svetlana is there as well, and after a quick conversation with her, she agrees too. They all start packing up their things and Mickey arranges for a moving van. They get back to Mickey and Ian's place and get the girls settled in, Svetlana in the room they already have for Yev and Mandy in the spare room. They get on with their day, Mickey and Ian heading to work, but secretly they're all just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Mickey can't help but feel that they must make the best of the next day or two, because once Terry is out, they will all be living on the edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terrible, I couldn't just have everything be hunky dory for them, I had to throw a wrench in that plan... So sue me :)
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos/comments if you like the story. Also, find me on Tumblr!
> 
> grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com


	11. When Worlds Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For all their efforts, Mickey and Ian knew eventually there would be no hiding from Terry. Are they ready for it though?

Kevin Ball by all accounts is a peaceful man. Not that he isn't capable of being tough, he just doesn't flaunt it. He is a man who grew up in the foster system, being shipped from shitty house to shittier house. He knows how to hold his own. And he finally shows his name, shows his "balls" (pun intended) when he winds up being the first person in their group to have a showdown with Terry Milkovich. Terry has been out of prison for two weeks. Word has hit the street, but sightings have been scarce. That is, until he shows up at The Alibi one night.

It's near closing, and the bar is almost empty, when Terry strolls in. Kevin meant what he said at the Gallagher house that day, and has no intention of letting Terry make the atmosphere here even dirtier with his presence. "Terry, how the fuck are ya? Hope you weren't planning on staying, we're closing." Terry scowls and says "Yea, whatever. Get me a beer." Kevin stands his ground and replies "I don't think you understand Terry. We're closed for business tonight. And for you, permanently. Don't think I forgot about your last appearance here. Now you can go on your own, or I can escort you out." Terry looks him square in the eye, not believing this is happening. No one fucks with Terry Milkovich. "Ball, you better be fucking kidding." Kevin stares right back and says "Nope. Not." He goes to the door and opens it. "Now, if you'll be on your way. Don't bother coming back. Ever." Terry, surprisingly, doesn't attack him. But he does make a point to snarl to Kevin "You're going to regret this" before he's on his way. Kevin knows that no matter what revenge is in store, he won't. He should have done this years ago.

The next night, everyone is at the Gallagher house for dinner. Kevin tells them all about his run in with Terry. They're all shocked that it went better than expected, but none of them have any delusion that it's over from there. Now that one of them has interacted with Terry, they're sure it's only a matter of time before another run in occurs. As they're all eating and talking, there's a bang on the front door. They all look at each other, wondering who it could be. They're all here except Frank, who has been a ghost for months. Probably fucking around in Mexico like the last time he disappeared. Fiona goes to the door but doesn't open it. "Who is it?" she calls out. And a hush falls over the room when they hear the response. "Terry Milkovich. Need to talk to you." Fiona replies "Well, you can talk through the door. Fuck you want?" Terry says "I'm looking for that ginger brother of yours and my piece of shit kids. Know if anyone knows where they are it's you people." Fiona replies "Well you're sniffing in the wrong place. Ian's gone, up and joined the army last year, haven't seen him since. Overseas. As for your kids, haven't seen much of them since Ian left. Now you can get the hell off my porch or I can call a police escort for you. Don't bother coming back." Terry yells "I know you're full of shit! I'll find them eventually and you can let them know that!" Fiona says "Can't let them know anything, don't talk to them. Goodbye Terry." She watches through the front window as he leaves. 

When she goes back in the kitchen, she looks at Ian, Mickey and Mandy and says "None of you are leaving here tonight, just in case he's lurking around. And I'm going to talk to Tony about having extra patrols around here, your place and The Alibi. If he even thinks of farting the wrong way, we're going to pull the rug out from under him." No one argues, and they've all lost their appetites. Kev and V head home and the rest of them disburse through the house. Mickey, Ian and Mandy are left at the table, just looking back and forth at each other. Mickey shakes his head, and gets that look in his eye, eyebrows raised to the sky. "We can't let him run our shit forever. Next time, there's not going to be any of this hideaway bullshit. If he finds me, I'm going after him. I'm done with this." There isn't much so say, so neither Ian nor Mandy respond. They know it's only a matter of time before one of them has a run-in with him. They just want to try to get away with it for a little longer. "Either way, I have to be out of here tomorrow, so if Terry is lurking out there, he'll just have to outrun me." In the midst of all the drama, Mickey had almost forgotten about the job opportunity from Gerald. But he had called the guy, Andrew, last week and his audition was tomorrow afternoon. He was not about to let Terry get in the way of that. Eventually, they give up on the idea of finding something to do and go upstairs to bed. Mandy crashes in Debbie's room and the boys go into Frank's old room, since Lip is in with Carl and Liam. They lie down on the bed, and Ian can tell that Mickey is just restless. He pulls Mickey close to him and says "We have gotten through so much, Mickey. We will get through this. I promise." Mickey nods, but inside he's not sure he believes it. Eventually they fall asleep.

The next morning, they're all up early, except Carl. None of them got much sleep last night, but the show must go on. Ian, Mickey and Mandy leave to head home and Fiona goes next door to talk to Tony as she said she would. When the boys and Mandy get home, they fill Svetlana in on the fun with Terry and tell her to keep an eye out for him. Ian and Mickey hop in the shower together quick and get ready for Mickey's audition. Ian decided to go with him just in case they run into Terry. Better safe than sorry. Mickey grabs the acoustic guitar and they head to the address that Andrew had provided him. They're a little early, wanting to make a good impression, but Andrew is ready for Mickey and brings them back into his studio. "Nice to meet you Mickey, and you as well Ian. I can't give too much away obviously but here is the gist. I'm doing some recording for a fairly known artist, their backup guitarist up and quit so we need someone in a pinch. I know you work for Gerald, he's a good friend of mine. Assuming you get this gig, he's already assured me that it wouldn't affect your job there, no one wants that. But before we worry about that, let's see how you play. Gerald told me you sing as well, and we always keep an ear out for backup vocalists too, so how about you play and sing together instead of just playing?" Mickey nods his agreement. "Great, whenever you're ready Mickey." He grabs the guitar, strums a few times to feel it out, and begins. This was a song he'd been saving for Ian, and he keeps his eyes on Ian the entire time he plays.

_What if this storm ends?_   
_And I don't see you_   
_As you are now_   
_Ever again_

_The perfect halo_   
_Of gold hair and lightning_   
_Sets you off against_   
_The planet's last dance_

_Just for a minute_   
_The silver forked sky_   
_Lit you up like a star_   
_That I will follow_

_Now it's found us_   
_Like I have found you_   
_I don't want to run_   
_Just overwhelm me_

_What if this storm ends?_   
_And leaves us nothing_   
_Except a memory_   
_A distant echo_

_I want pinned down_   
_I want unsettled_   
_Rattle cage after cage_   
_Until my blood boils_

_I want to see you_   
_As you are now_   
_Every single day_   
_That I am living_

_Painted in flames_   
_All peeling thunder_   
_Be the lightning in me_   
_That strikes relentless_

Andrew smiles at him. "No question, you definitely can play and you have a great voice. I have a few more people to audition, but I will be in touch either way. If not for this artist, I may have some other backup work in mind for you. We'll be in touch." He and Mickey shake hands, and he shakes Ian's hand as well, and they leave.

Ian and Mickey are walking home and Ian turns and says "That song was for me, wasn't it?" Mickey smirks and replies "Aren't they all?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love your kudos and comments if you like the story so far, or have any thoughts! Feel free to find me on Tumblr!
> 
> grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com
> 
> Song credit: Snow Patrol


	12. Father Dearest

It's been around a week since Mickey's audition, and Andrew finally gets back to him. His artist has went with someone else, but Andrew wants Mickey to come back in to audition for someone else. They schedule the new audition for the following week. Mickey is disappointed, but the fact that Andrew wants him to sit for another audition is promising. He knows the music business is cutthroat, and he can't complain that he's gotten a pretty good connection. He owes it all to Ian. Oh, Ian. His ginger makes him crazy but man, he fucking loves that kid. Ian's at class, so he can't tell him the news yet but he will fill him in when he gets home. He does text him though. It's a rare Friday night that neither of them are working, and Mickey wants to take advantage.

_Mickey: You're off work tonight, right? Date night?_   
_Ian: Yea I am. Date night where??_   
_Mickey: Not sure, I'll find a place. 7:30?_   
_Ian: Works for me, see you then. Class now. xoxo_

Mickey doesn't have much to do between now and then, so he runs some errands and then comes home and hops in the shower before Ian gets home so he can get ready. Ian finally gets home and does the same. When they're both dressed and ready, they leave and Mickey directs them to the El. He had remembered this casual but nice Italian bistro recommendation that he had gotten from Dante, and figured they could check it out. It was on the north side, not far from Push. They get to the place and get seated. Mickey tells Ian about Andrew's call over drinks and appetizers. Ian is relieved that Mickey isn't discouraged by the results. He's become much more of an optimist over time. They get their entrees and dig in. This place is pretty good, and they agree they'll probably come back. Maybe next time, they'll invite Dante and Trevor and make it a double. Ian smiles at the idea of Mickey Milkovich on a double date. Even though it's not the first, it gets Ian every time. How far Mickey really has come. 

They decide to make the most of this Friday night of freedom, and to stay out after for some drinks. But rather than head to one of the north side places, they decide to pay a visit to The Alibi. Neither of them have been in some time. Hell, Mickey doesn't remember being in since he handed over the rub and tug to Svetlana to handle, although he could be wrong. They hop back on the El and are southside bound in no time. They walk in and it's like old times. The good old times. Kev greets them both warmly and drinks appear immediately. They take seats at the bar and they're shooting the shit with Kev. The local drunks are hanging around, Tommy and Kermit throw them a wave from the end of the bar. The familiarity is nice. Mickey leans over to Ian and says "I'll be right back, gotta take a piss." He gets up and heads to the back of the bar. The bathroom door has no sooner closed when Ian hears a voice behind him. "Ian, m'boy! Long time no see!" Ian spins around and there is Frank, in his usual drunken glory. He hops up on Mickey's bar stool. "Kev, a drink for my return from the wilds of the American countryside!" Ian rolls his eyes. "Seat's taken, Frank." Frank grins that shit eating grin of his. "Oh, I know, I saw my son in law heading for the john. Won't take much of your time." He leans in towards Ian, conspiratorially, and whispers. "Hear you two have been having some... father troubles. And not from one Gallagher patriarch this time." Ian wonders how Frank knows about that, he's been MIA for months. "Never you worry, m'boy. I don't think you'll be having much trouble from him anymore." Now Ian feels a panic settle into his gut. "Frank, what the fuck have you done?" He whispers angrily. Frank looks him straight in the eye and replies "Nothing any father wouldn't do to protect his child. You may really be Clayton's, probably are since Monica gave you that damn middle name, but you're MINE where it counts. Don't forget that." And with that, he downs his beer in one massive chug and leaves the bar. 

Ian's mind is reeling. Could Frank have really been implying what he thought he was implying? Frank is an asshole, but did he really "take care" of Terry Milkovich? Ian has always believed the worst in Frank, but this? And is this even the worst thing that could happen to Terry? He's about to go after him, try to get an explanation, but Mickey comes out of the bathroom and sits back down next to Ian. "What's wrong, Red? You look like you've seen a ghost. You okay?" Ian can't even look at him, he's afraid of what his eyes will reveal if he does. "Not feeling so good. Can we go? Can we go back to my old house? Don't know if I'll make it all the way home." Mickey is worried. "Sure, sure. You sure you're alright? If you're sick, we can just go in the bathroom here." Ian shakes his head violently. "No, no. Just take me back to North Wallace." Mickey helps him off the stool and they leave.

When they get to the Gallaghers, everyone is still up except Liam. It's not very late. This may not have been the best plan but Ian needs to get either Fiona, Lip or both of them alone and talk to them about what happened with Frank. Mickey seats Ian on the couch and gets him some water. Fiona hovers over him, checking him for a temperature and asking him about all of his supposed symptoms. Ian manages to throw Lip a look and Lip, knowing his brother, knows something is up. "Hey Mick, why don't you go upstairs and start a shower for him? We'll bring him up in a minute and you can help him once he's in there." Mickey normally would argue with anything Lip says, but for once bites his tongue and nods. He heads upstairs and Lip sits on the couch with Ian and Fiona. "Guys, I'm not really sick but I had to fake something to get the hell out of The Alibi. Need to talk to you and make it quick before Mick comes down here to check on me." He fills them in as briefly as possible as to what happened with Frank. They are understandably speechless. "Ian, are you SURE that's what Frank meant?" Fiona asks, hoping beyond hope that it's a lie. "Well of course I'm not, he's Frank for fuck's sake. But that sure seemed to be what he was implying!" Ian replies. "I have to go upstairs before Mick gets suspicious. I'll make sure he falls asleep before I do and I'll come back down and we will talk more. Lip, 'help' me upstairs!" Lip obliges and Ian heads for the bathroom. When Lip comes back down, he motions for Fiona to come outside with him. 

He lights a cigarette and says "If this is true, what the fuck do we do?" Fiona thinks for a minute, taking the cigarette from Lip's offering hand. "Honestly? We throw him a parade and let him have his old room back. Frank is a shit father, but if he actually did that for Ian, I can forgive the rest of his downfalls. That's the truth. He's always been harder on Ian than anyone else, although he also never had any problem with Ian's sexuality. Was always fine with it. Maybe this was his demented apology for being an asshole. Either way, Terry is a virus and if Frank punched his ticket... Then cheers to him." Lip contemplates this. "Lip, as far as our truth, we haven't seen Frank in months. So we know nothing, and that's how it is going to stay. I'm not throwing him under the bus for this. He wasn't much, but he was a hell of a father compared to Terry. At least we all have some happy memories of him, times where he really acted like our dad. What do those poor Milkovich kids have?" Lip nods his agreement at that, and remains uncharacteristically quiet. For once, he really doesn't even know what to say. Anytime Frank acts like a parent, it's usually shocking, like the time he took the rap for Carl after they robbed his foster parents' house. But this, THIS is something Lip can't even wrap his head around. They sit out on the porch for awhile, not talking. Eventually, they hear the door open behind them and Ian appears. "Sorry, thought Mickey would doze off sooner. Didn't mean to dump all that on you guys and disappear. I'm sure you've been talking about it though. What do you think?" He plops down on the stairs in between them, waiting to hear their thoughts.

Fiona looks at Lip, and he nods back at her. "We think you let it ride. Don't say anything, don't do anything. Let it be whatever it may be. We'll find out eventually if something has happened to Terry. And if it did, well... Good riddance. Fuck him." Ian's jaw drops and he just gawks at them for a few seconds. "Seriously? That's your suggestion? This is Mickey's father!" Lip finally finds his words. "Yes, Mickey's father. The guy who tried to make career criminals out of all of his sons, beat and nearly killed Mickey, raped his own daughter, went after you numerous times, has been hunting for you guys since he got out of prison. Father of the fuckin' year. The guy who had his son living a life of such fear that just a few short years ago, going to juvie was a better solution than just admitting he likes dick. That Mickey was so bad to you in those early days because he couldn't even express his feelings. And trust me, I'm not saying any of this against Mickey. I get it now, and I don't feel the way I once did about him. I understand that his words and his actions weren't really him, they were Terry. That prick deserves whatever happens to him. And I never thought I'd see the day that I said this but if Frank DID do something, you and Mickey and Mandy owe him a big fuckin' thank you." While Ian does in part agree, this is still their father, twisted as it may be. If he's dead, they have no parents left. What will this do to them? "I don't know if I can keep this from Mickey. I don't lie to him."

Fiona takes his hand. "Ian, we can't tell you what to do with Mickey. That's your decision." She rests her head on his shoulder. Lip pats his knee and says "I'm heading to bed. Whatever you decide to do or not do, we have your back. Just don't go after Frank. For once, we're on his side if he did this." He heads inside. Ian rests his cheek on Fiona's head, still holding her hand. "Great, my big sister and brother aren't much help. What the fuck do I do?" She squeezes his hand a little harder. "I think you need a little time by yourself to think. If you want to talk more, just knock on my door. She gets up and kisses the top of his head before leaving him on the steps alone.

Ian sits there, lost in thought, for what feels like an eternity. In reality, it's probably no more than ten minutes. He hears the door open quietly behind him, and he turns, expecting Fiona or Lip to be behind him. But it's Mickey. "Hey Red, feeling okay? Whatcha doing out here by yourself? Woke up alone and got kinda nervous." He sits down next to Ian and rubs his back. Ian has to decide, right now, which way he's going to go with this. "Mick, can you light a cigarette? I want some." Mickey eyes him suspiciously. "But you quit ages ago." Ian sighs. "Yes, I know. But I need to talk to you and I think we're both going to need this, or a drink, or both." Mickey gets up and goes back in the house. Ian waits, and is about to go back in when Mickey reemerges, with two beers and a bottle opener. "Well, if we might need both, might as well get prepared now." He pops the tops off the beers and hands one to Ian, then pulls a cigarette out of his pack and lights it. He sits back down and says "Guess you better tell me what's going on."

Ian doesn't answer right away. He takes the cigarette from Mickey's lips and pulls a big drag out of it. He blows the smoke up into the night sky and closes his eyes. Finally he speaks, keeping his eyes firmly shut. "I think Frank killed Terry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frank as a father... Is this the better or worse version of him?
> 
> Kudos/comments much appreciated!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr at grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com


	13. Papa, Can You Hear Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How is Mickey going to handle Ian's revelation about Frank?

Ian is scared to open his eyes. He is afraid to see Mickey's reaction to his big revelation. But Mickey isn't making a sound. He finally opens his eyes and Mickey is doubled over and shaking. Ian grabs his shoulders and when Mickey looks up, Ian realizes he's fighting laughter. LAUGHTER! Now, Ian knows that people don't always react appropriately in these types of situations, but there is something really bizarre about this. "FRANK? Ian, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Where do you even come up with this shit?" And now he's laughing out loud, and how loud it is indeed. Ian realizes that Mickey thinks this is a joke. He shakes Mickey, and hard. "I'M NOT KIDDING MICK!" When Mickey actually looks at Ian's face, he sees how serious he actually is and his laughter chokes off. "Ian, what the fuck are you talking about?" Ian forces himself to recall his conversation with Frank at The Alibi. Mickey takes it in and processes. Finally he says "Look, Frank is the biggest drunk in the south side. For all we know, it's bullshit. Let's not assume anything until we see if we hear anything about Terry. Fuck, Frank may even believe he did, doesn't make it true." Ian is stunned. "Mick, how can you be so calm about the idea that my father might have MURDERED YOUR FATHER?" Mickey's reply is very matter of fact. "Because if he did, I can tell you that I don't know anyone who deserved it more. I'm going to bed, are you coming?" He offers his hand, and Ian takes it. He lets Mickey pull him in the house and up the stairs to bed, not saying another word. But he doesn't sleep well that night. No, not at all.

The next morning, Ian wakes up after a terrible night's sleep, and Mickey isn't lying next to him. He gets up and goes downstairs and finds him sitting at the kitchen table with Fiona and Lip, each with a coffee mug in hand. They're talking in low murmurs, as not to be overheard. Fiona points to the coffee pot, indicating there's some left for him. He grabs a mug and joins them at the table, sitting down next to Mickey. Mickey ruffles his hair. "Morning, Red. Sleep okay?" Ian stares at him and says "No, not particularly." He can't believe how normal they are all acting. Granted, they have all been through some truly weird shit over the years, but Ian still can't believe all of their indifference towards this situation. Mickey looks at Ian and says "We were all just talking about what happened with Frank last night. From here, I think that this should stay between the four of us. No one else needs to know. Not even Mandy. Won't do any good. Hell, we don't even know what's true or not yet, no use getting her or anyone else bent out of shape about it." Ian doesn't know what to say. This all feels so wrong, but he finds himself nodding his agreement anyway. Because really, Mickey is still right. What a twisted situation. Ian finally gets up and says "I can't even deal with this right now. I have the early afternoon shift at work, I'm going home to get myself together." Mickey gets up as well and they get their stuff and leave. 

Most of the walk, they don't speak, but finally Mickey can't take the silence anymore. "Ian, I know you don't understand why I don't seem to give a shit about what you told me last night. But I have spent much of my life wishing Terry dead. And I can't say how I will feel if I find out this is real, but it's hard to feel sad or sorry for a man who was such a terrible part of my life. The man has no redeeming qualities. None. Frank is a dick but at least sometimes he acts like a dad. He's a drunk but he's not a stupid man. He's just his own worst enemy and terminally selfish. But he's not brutal. Terry is a brute. He has done nothing but instill his kids with fear and just a basic need to survive. Any of the good parts of me were either so far buried inside or I didn't even have them until you. He destroys everything in his path. I'd be lying if I said that the idea of having him not be a threat wasn't appealing. I'd be lying if I said I never thought about doing something myself. Frank is a user but Terry is an abuser. He is just on a scale unlike anyone I've ever met. I wonder sometimes how any of us survived him. How we aren't all dead or in jail ourselves. If I hadn't met you, I probably would be. I was on the brink because of him, and you saved me. And he could have ruined it all for us, but if Frank saved us from that, I can't hate him for it. I can't. You don't have to be on board with it, don't have to like it, don't have to respect it. But you have to accept that this is how I feel right now. That's all I ask of you. I try not to ask much. But I'm asking you to give me this. I need you to give me this. Please, Ian?"

Ian takes Mickey's face in his hands gently, and presses his forehead to Mickey's. "Okay." He doesn't need to say anything else. It's enough.

Ian doesn't know how he does it, but he goes off to work that afternoon like normal. Days pass by and nothing. It almost seems like a dream. Thursday, almost a week after everything, Ian, Mickey and Mandy are at the Gallagher house for dinner. There is a knock on the door and Lip goes to answer it. There is some mumbled talking and he comes back, with Tony and his partner behind him. Ian and Mickey shoot each other a look. Tony enters the kitchen and says "Sorry to interrupt your dinner. We need to speak with Mickey and Mandy." Ian's mouth goes dry. This is it, he knows it is. Mandy looks at Mickey, and Mickey takes her hand and leads her into the living room. They sit on the couch and Tony sits on the coffee table across from them. He tells them the news that Ian knew was coming. Mandy starts sobbing and buries her face in Mickey's chest. Mickey is utterly stoic. He doesn't even react, except to stroke Mandy's hair. Fiona has joined them in the living room and starts attending to the details. What do they need to do in terms of arrangements, stuff like that. They find out that once an autopsy has been performed, they can go about making whatever arrangements, if any, that they plan to make. Tony murmurs apologies to the Milkovich siblings, and he and his partner leave. Fiona crouches in front of Mandy and says "C'mon, let's get you upstairs and let you lie down for a bit." She nods and follows Fiona obediently, still sniffling as she goes. Ian replaces her on the couch and takes Mickey's hand. They lean back and Mickey rests his head on Ian's shoulder. Ian whispers "Are you okay?" Mickey thinks for a minute. "I think so, yea." Ian squeezes his hand and they just sit there for a long time. The younger Gallagher kids come over and try to offer some awkward condolences. Mickey gives them a small smile and a quiet "Thanks" and they go upstairs to avoid making things weirder.

A few days go by, and Mickey gets word that they can do what they want now. He authorizes them to have Terry cremated. He picks up the remains and they have a brief "ceremony" at the Milkovich house. Their other brothers show up, as do their cousins and the Gallagher kids. That's it. They say a few brief words and scatter him in the yard. And that's the end of that. The rest of the Milkovich clan disappears to wherever they came from, and Mickey and Mandy go with the Gallaghers to The Alibi. Ian sees the irony in the fact that this was the last place he and Mickey even saw Terry, but doesn't mention it. Once they're there, no one is even talking about Terry. Eventually, Carl and Debbie leave and take Liam home with them. Mandy heads to work. Now it's just Fiona, Lip, Ian and Mickey. They're sitting together at a high top table, not talking much but drinking plenty. All of a sudden, Ian sees Frank walk in, head to the bar and grab a stool. They see Ian staring and they all follow his gaze. Then they all look at Mickey. He's staring at Frank silently when he suddenly gets up. Ian's about to follow, but Fiona stops him. He goes to the other end of the bar and they see him say something to Kev. A minute later, Kev hands Mickey two beers. He grabs them both, walks over and places one in front of Frank. Frank just looks at him and for a minute, it looks like a stand off. Then, Mickey clinks his glass against Frank's and takes a swig. Frank picks his up tentatively and takes a swig as well. They can see he's waiting to see what Mickey does, but isn't trying to avoid it. Mickey downs the rest of his beer, pats Frank on the shoulder and comes back to the table. He holds his hand out to Ian. "C'mon, let's go home." Ian takes his hand and they leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/comments <3
> 
> Tumblr: grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com


	14. Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Halloween in this chapter, since today is Halloween and it happens to fit into the timeline! Hope you enjoy!

It's Halloween, and somehow, Ian has convinced Mickey to come with him to a Halloween party at Brian's. At first, Mickey doesn't even remember who Brian is, but then he realizes that he's the guy that hosted the party where Mickey got roped into that weird conversation about being a pimp. The party where Mickey for the very first time told someone that he and Ian were together. He hadn't even said it to Ian yet. My, how times have changed. At first, Mickey doesn't really want to go and tries to argue his way out of it. It hasn't been long since Terry died, and while Mickey wouldn't say he's in mourning, he's definitely been off ever since. But eventually, Ian wears him down. That damn ginger always has a way with him. But Mickey drew the line when Ian tried to suggest they do a themed costume together. Mickey is only so gay, after all. As a matter of fact, Mickey actually decides he wants to surprise Ian with his get up, and in turn, Ian decides to do the same. They had both been acquiring bits and pieces of their costumes, and now that the day is finally here, they are getting ready to reveal their finished looks. They're getting ready in separate rooms, and when they're both done they call out "1-2-3!" and open their doors. 

Mickey is wearing head to toe black - t-shirt, leather jacket, LEATHER PANTS (Ian thinks to himself "OH GOD THOSE PANTS! WHERE DID HE GET THEM AND HOW FAST CAN I GET THEM OFF?!"), black boots and black chunky scarf. The only think that isn't black are these bizarre orange sunglasses he has on. He's also holding his guitar. He looks... like Mickey, mainly. But someone else too. Ian recognizes what he's going for but can't place it. Mickey sees him analyzing and says "I'm Bono... From U2?" As soon as he says it, it clicks in Ian's head and he does see the resemblance between the two. The hair, the eyes, the style. Mickey definitely got his look down. Mickey takes his turn checking out Ian. He's in a very sexy gray suit, one that somehow seems to fit him just right, and perfectly shined dress shoes. He's holding an old fashioned hat, with a cigarette perched in the corner of his mouth. His hair is swept and gelled to the side, not a strand out of place. Mickey also can see the reference, but can't figure it out either. However, seeing Ian dressed up definitely gives Mickey some dirty thoughts. Ian sees that Mickey isn't sure who he's supposed to be and says "I'm Don Draper from Mad Men." Mickey bites his lip and eyes him up and down. It's all Ian can do to resist, but they're already late. "No, Mickey. Don't even think it, we have to go. There will be time for that later." Mickey pouts but follows him, and they leave to go to the El.

They get to Brian's and realize that other people are much better at figuring out who they are than they were at guessing each other's costumes. Most of them get a kick out of how good Mickey's Bono impression looks. Someone jokes "If only he performs like he looks!" and Ian, always loving a chance to show off his man, chimes in "He actually does sing and play!" So of course, everyone asks him to sing something and he does a couple of songs before yelling out "ALRIGHT PEOPLE. I NORMALLY GET PAID TO DO THIS SO PONY UP OR I'M HEADING TO THE BAR FOR A DRINK!" But there's no malice in it, not like it would have been with the old Mickey. Everyone laughs and Mickey heads into the kitchen for that drink he wanted. Brian and Ian are talking about how good Mickey sings and plays, and Ian tells him to come check Mickey out at work anytime. He sees Mickey chatting with a few guys in the kitchen, and he thinks back to that first party, how uncomfortable Mickey was, how he hardly spoke to anyone, how mistrusting he was. And now he's here, mingling, singing and playing guitar for these people, drawing attention to himself, laughing. He's a totally different person. And Ian is so grateful to love and have loved every single version of Mickey.

They don't wind up staying too late. Ian has an early shift at work the next day. They splurge and take a cab home instead of waiting for the train. When they get home, it's blissfully quiet. With the threat of Terry gone, Mandy and Svetlana have moved back to the Milkovich house. They have their home to themselves again. Ian noticed that Mickey didn't say much on the ride home, though he doesn't seem to be in a bad mood. After they're undressed and in bed, Ian spooning Mickey from behind, he whispers "You okay Mick?" Mickey pulls Ian's arm around him and says "I'm okay. Just lost in thought I guess." Ian hugs him tight and asks "About what?" and Mickey replies "About a song, actually. Usually, when I'm trying to find new songs, I find myself learning stuff that either reminds me of you, or how I feel about you, or things I think about you. Like they're always about you but coming from me, ya know? But when I was prepping to do this Bono thing, I was looking up some of their songs and I found this song, and I dunno... It felt like it was you talking to me. But there's still part of it that's me to you. I dunno. Just stuck with me I guess." Ian puts his lips right by Mickey's ear. "Would you play it for me?"

Mickey hesitates for a second, but only a second. "Okay." He gets up from bed and gets the guitar, putting the strap over his shoulder. He puts his foot on the bed and balances the guitar on his knee. And he begins.

_Tough, you think you've got the stuff_  
 _You're telling me and anyone_  
 _You're hard enough_

_You don't have to put up a fight_  
 _You don't have to always be right_  
 _Let me take some of the punches_  
 _For you tonight_

_Listen to me now_  
 _I need to let you know_  
 _You don't have to go it alone_

_And it's you when I look in the mirror_  
 _And it's you when I don't pick up the phone_  
 _Sometimes you can't make it on your own_

_We fight all the time_  
 _You and I...that's alright_  
 _We're the same soul_  
 _I don't need...I don't need to hear you say_  
 _That if we weren't so alike_  
 _You'd like me a whole lot more_

_Listen to me now_  
 _I need to let you know_  
 _You don't have to go it alone_

_And it's you when I look in the mirror_  
 _And it's you when I don't pick up the phone_  
 _Sometimes you can't make it on your own_

_I know that we don't talk_  
 _I'm sick of it all_  
 _Can - you - hear - me - when - I -_  
 _Sing, you're the reason I sing_  
 _You're the reason why the opera is in me..._

_Where are we now?_  
 _I've still got to let you know_  
 _A house still doesn't make a home_  
 _Don't leave me here alone..._

_And it's you when I look in the mirror_  
 _And it's you that makes it hard to let go_  
 _Sometimes you can't make it on your own_  
 _Sometimes you can't make it_  
 _The best you can do is to fake it_  
 _Sometimes you can't make it on your own_

He puts the guitar away and sits down on the edge of the bed. Ian sits up and scoots behind him and puts his arms around Mickey's waist. "The song is true you know. It's just totally true. You don't have to do it all on your own, not anymore. Because I'll always be here, Mick. Always. No matter what. You know that now, right?" Mickey rubs his thumbs across Ian's knuckles, which are laced at his waist. "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments much appreciated :) 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com
> 
> Song Credit: U2


	15. I'll Keep Working My Way Back To You, Babe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five years have passed since Terry's death. Where are Ian and Mickey now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've made a big time jump here. I kind of feel like I was ready to fade out of that period and move into Mickey and Ian's future.

Five years have come and gone since Terry's death. Five long and arduous years. Mickey is thinking about the past a lot lately. He tends to get reflective every year around the time of his father's death. Sometimes the craziness of it all makes it feel like none of these things really happened, but Mickey knows all too well that they did. 

Year one post-Terry (a term he often finds himself using when thinking of time) was very freeing, not having him haunting their lives anymore. Mickey had been getting regular gigs through Andrew as a backup guitarist, and even occasionally providing backup vocals on tracks. He was getting to meet lots of artists of varying levels of success and making great contacts. Andrew even got him connected with a local band and he started performing gigs at bigger venues than just the lounges he had been used to. Not arenas by any means, but still more than Mickey had ever imagined. Ian had done well in his first year of college. He was finding a lot of new things that he was interested in, but hadn't decided on a major or any of that quite yet. As a couple, it had been really nice to explore the idea of being even more of an out couple. Mickey was a lot more willing to explore that, or at least think about it, without Terry's presence. He'd been out for awhile, but still didn't really display it as much publicly when they were in their neighborhood. Old habits died hard.

Year two topped all of these past five years. Mickey's music career was doing so well that he actually had to turn down gigs because there just wasn't enough time for all of them. Ian had graduated from community college with his Associate's degree and had gotten accepted to the University of Chicago with a scholarship. The party that Mickey and the Gallaghers had put together to celebrate Ian's achievement was a party to end them all, even for that clan. Ian was considering pursuing an English degree. It had always been his best subject, he had even tested out of it in high school. He was thinking that being an English teacher may be the right path for him. As a graduation present, Mickey had even saved up money and took Ian on a vacation to Miami for a week. Mickey had never even been outside of the state, and neither had been on a plane. Had never seen the ocean in person. They had spent a week swimming, screwing, getting sunburned. It was the best week of both of their lives, and neither had wanted to leave when the time finally came. Every time Mickey thought about that year, he thought of that line from the Nicki Minaj song, Moment 4 Life: _I wish that I could have this moment for life, for life, for life... Cuz in this moment I just feel so alive, alive, alive_. They were just so _happy_. 

Year three was the worst. That year nearly ruined Mickey and Ian, both individually and as a couple. Ian had ignored the signs, signs he knew to look for, signs that another cycle of high and low was about to come to him like a force of nature. And whether he intended to or not (to this day, Mickey didn't even know for sure), he had become much better at hiding the signs from everyone else as well. One day, he was just gone without a trace or a word. They all did everything they could to locate him, even filed a missing persons report this time around, but he remained gone. Time went by. Mickey drank too much, slept too little, and almost lost everything he had worked for. Angry Mickey came back, and he basically kept everyone away from him. If it hadn't been for the Gallaghers, Mickey may have never made it through that part of his life. Debbie, who was about 17 at the time, had basically moved into Mickey and Ian's house and was taking care of Mickey. If not for her, he would have never went to work, never paid the bills, maybe not even remembered to eat. She took care of him, made him spend time with the Gallaghers (her family, _their_ family), made him live some semblance of a life beyond going to work and coming home. She became his best friend, hell, his only friend. Mandy had left Chicago for California after Terry's death to "find herself" and hadn't been back since, although she at least kept in touch with Mickey to let him know she was alive and well. Mickey had long suspected that Ian had went there and stayed with her, but if he was right, she never admitted it. 

Then one day, after nearly six months, Mickey was coming home from work and when he got there, Ian was sitting on the front steps waiting for him. Mickey remembered how Ian had looked so pitiful, like a scared child or a stray kitten. He looked so small, not something Mickey would never associate with him. And when he saw Ian sitting there, the flood of emotions that went through him made him feel like he was drowning. Anger, relief, sadness, frustration, exhaustion. Love. So much fucking love for Ian, this boy (man, now) that he had been through the wringer with. He couldn't even speak. He just opened the door and motioned Ian inside, didn't even hug him or anything. And when Ian was in the house, Mickey had closed that front door and collapsed back onto it. He slid down to the floor and just sat there, tears tracing paths down his cheeks. He had fallen asleep right there in front of the door, curled up in a ball, as if he could barricade Ian from leaving again. Mickey was woken up the next morning when he felt a hand gently stroking his hair. The hand was Ian's. He was there, really there. Mickey had whispered to him. "You said you would always be here. How could you leave me? Why does everyone I love leave?" Mickey's voice was full of defeat. It broke Ian's heart, and he cried. That same day, Mickey brought Ian to the hospital to get help. The rest of year three had been dedicated to that, and they made it through together. Then and now, Mickey doesn't fully know what happened with Ian during his disappearance, and he's not sure he ever wants to.

Year four was more of picking up the pieces, but it hadn't felt as hopeless. Ian had gotten lucky and the University of Chicago had been very understanding about his situation, and was still willing to accept him and give him the scholarship. He had enrolled, started taking classes towards his goal, and was doing well. He had even taken up yoga and meditation as another way of managing stress, trying anything he could find to keep himself from going back to his dark place. Mickey and Ian were attending therapy to deal with everything that had happened. It had been going well, but that whole year, Mickey struggled with learning to trust again, which Ian understood. They weren't there yet, but they were working towards it. Mickey also learned to use his music to work through his feelings. He wasn't much of a writer, so songwriting wasn't his thing. Instead, he found songs that said the things he wanted and needed to say, and would learn and play them for himself. Occasionally, he would work some into his sets when he was performing, but mostly these were for himself. He did this when he was alone, but Ian had come home and overheard him on more than a few occasions, and when he would hear the words to these songs, he knew. While Ian knew it wasn't totally his fault, he carried a burden of guilt and probably would for a very long time. Mickey had been a shell of a person when Ian came into his life, and Ian had taken that and rebuilt him. He hated knowing that he was the reason Mickey was broken again.

Year five was finally feeling to Mickey like it used to, before everything got so fucked up. He wasn't scared anymore that he would come home and Ian would be gone again. He just hoped that once and for all, they could be happy without any catches. While they never had an official anniversary, by Mickey's estimates, they had been actively together for around six years, and might as well have been together for eight. He was always willing to fight for Ian and their relationship, but was exhausted that there had been so much of it. He had stopped running away from Ian many years ago, and hoped that Ian was done running too. Mickey knew that there was no one else he would want to fight for this way. Five year. Six years. Eight years. Mickey had burst into Ian's life, Ian had burst into Mickey's room, and these seemingly innocuous moments set them on this path that, as far as Mickey was concerned, was forever. They had never really talked about marriage or any of that, but still, Mickey just assumed they had found their matches in each other and that was it. 

Ian came home from class and found Mickey sitting on the couch holding a beer and staring off into space. This was a common occurrence nowadays. He dropped his school bag down next to the couch and gave Mickey a hello kiss on his head. "Hey Mick, whatcha up to?" Mickey looked up at him and shrugged. "Nothing, just thinking." Ian sat down next to him and ran his fingers through Mickey's hair. He gave Mickey another kiss on the head and got up to make some dinner. Mickey eventually got up and set the table, three place settings waiting to be used. Just as dinner was about ready, Debbie got home. Even after Ian had returned, Mickey had asked her to stay. He had never had many friends growing up, hadn't really cared at the time but now that he and Debbie had formed that relationship, he didn't want to let go of it. He was really glad to have her around.

After dinner, Debbie went upstairs to get ready for a date and Ian and Mickey retreated to the living room to watch TV. Ian turns to Mickey and asks "So what were you thinking about earlier?" Mickey rested his head on Ian's shoulder and replied "Just everything. Did you realize we've been together for like what, eight years? Been through a lot haven't we?" Ian just nods. He takes Mickey's hand, laces their fingers together, leans his head against Mickey's. They just sit there for awhile in silence until Mickey breaks it with a question. "Ian, do you think we're through the worst of it?" Ian sighs. "I sure as hell hope so, Mick. I sure as hell hope so." Mickey turned to Ian. "Do you remember that summer when I got out of juvie that first time? The dugouts?" Ian smiled at the memory. "How could I forget? We had a hell of a time in those dugouts. And working together that summer at the Kash and Grab." Mickey leaned back on the couch smiling. "Oh and MIAMI. Can't forget that, best week of my life." Ian pulled him in close and said "Mine too." 

They started to kiss before Mickey interrupted the moment and asked "Do you ever think it will be so easy again?" Ian shrugs and replies "I dunno. I mean, life is just different now. We're adults, our responsibilities are different. I don't know that it could be how it was, but that doesn't mean that things can't be great." Mickey looks down at the floor. "Sometimes I'm scared." Ian tilts Mickey's chin up so he can look in his eyes and asks "Scared of what, Mick?" Mickey averts his eyes and says "The bottom falling out again. Losing you, but for good. I know it was years ago, and I don't think about it all the time, but when I do, I worry. When you were gone, I was a disaster, Ian. If it hadn't been for Deb, I really don't know what would have happened to me. I don't think I could go through it again. I know there were times when I left too, my juvie stints, but you always knew where I was. Not knowing what happened to you, it ate me up inside." Ian understand, but it also frustrated. "Mick, I know. But I can't apologize forever. I don't know how many times I can tell you that I'm not going anywhere for you to believe me." Mickey leans against Ian and says "I do believe you, Ian. But it still scares me. You can understand that right?" Ian nods. "Mickey, I never intended to leave you. It was just something that happened. It was my bipolar. It's a part of me, but it's not ALL of me. But I came back to you. I can't promise I'll never leave again, there are no guarantees. But I swear to you that if I ever leave, I will always come back. Always." He gets up and offers Mickey his hand. "Let's go to bed." Mickey takes his hand and lets his redhead bring him upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated :)
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com


	16. You're Not The Only Redhead I Like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of exploration into Mickey and Debbie's relationship.

The next morning, Ian is up and out of the house very early for an 8am class. Mickey sleeps in as usual, since he mostly works afternoons and nights. When he does finally emerge from his room and go downstairs, he finds Debbie studying in the living room and a fresh pot of coffee waiting for him. She always makes coffee for him when she's up first, she's thoughtful that way. He grabs a mug and pours himself a cup and joins her on the couch. "Whatcha studying?" She rolls her eyes. "Ugh, chemistry. Don't see what the hell I need this for. I want to do social work, what the hell does chemistry have to do with THAT?" Mickey smirks and says "Oh please, you know it's all a racket. They make you take these classes you don't really need to make money off you. That's how they get at least four years out of you! Gotta make that money somehow." She nods in agreement. They sit in comfortable silence for awhile, Debbie studying and Mickey reading the paper (no mystery behind where the papers came from anymore, she got a subscription for Mickey's birthday last year so he would stop stealing them from Mr. Taylor's porch). Finally, Debbie looks at Mickey and asks "Everything alright with you and Ian?" Mickey looks up from the Sudoku puzzle he had started working on and said "Sure, why?" She squints at him, analyzing if he's being honest or not. "Well, when I came home from my date last night, you were both already in bed and it was only like 10:30." Mickey smiles. "That's right, you had that date. How was it? What was that guy's name? Ben, Brian?" Debbie smirks at him and replies "Brandon, and he was nice but boring. Probably no date number two. Now don't change the subject on me. You know I can see right through it. Why do you insist on doing that like I'm not going to call you on it?" Mickey shrugs. "Force of habit. Sorry. Things are okay, I'm just feeling a little weird lately." Debbie puts her school work down on the coffee table so she can turn and look at Mickey better. He does the same with his paper, and they're sitting on opposite ends of the couch facing each other. Debbie looks him in the eye. "So, tell me what's going on then." 

Mickey hesitates for a moment and then fills her in on his conversation with Ian last night, and the anxieties he still feels about Ian leaving and such. She listens attentively, as she always does. "Mickey, you do know you go through this every year right? Every year around when your dad died, it's like your anxiety and emotions go into overdrive." He had always kind of realized it, but he didn't realize other people did too. "Yea, I guess I do. I can't help it. I know Ian doesn't intend to go anywhere, but I don't think he intended to last time either. And I don't want to lie to him about how I feel, but I don't want him to resent me for it either. Regardless, I feel like it's better to be honest with him." Debbie nods, understanding. "It's always better to be honest, I will give you that. But you can't live your life in fear of what may happen. Shit does happen, Mickey. Sometimes it's just that simple. And all you can do is try to get on with it. Look at your life, at my family's lives. You lost your mom, your dad was an asshole and then he was gone, Mandy left, you don't talk to the rest of your family. My dad's a drunk, mom won't fix her problems, Fiona got saddled with playing mommy to five kids, Lip is his own worst enemy, Ian inherited the one thing about our mother we dislike the most. I'm doing alright but I had my struggles as a kid, not really having many friends and shit, everyone thought Carl would be a serial killer or something, but he seems to have turned it around. Liam, well he's still too young to know how he'll turn out. But we're all here, we pulled through. You, me, my family, Mandy. We got by. I know that when it gets rough, it feels like you don't know how you will make it out on the other side, but why doubt yourself? You have made it through a LOT of shit. Give yourself some credit." She scoots across the couch so that she's next to him and took his hand. "And you have me, and Fiona, and our brothers. We are your family. Family isn't just about what you're born into, or who your blood is. Ian chose you, but when he opened that door, we chose you too. And we love you to pieces."

Mickey pulls her over and hugs her. "Thanks, Deb. I love you guys too, and you're right. You are my family. And I know that I need to just let things happen instead of overthinking everything. I just can't help it sometimes. I know how bad I was when Ian was gone. You know better than anyone how bad it was. You were the one who kept me afloat for all of those months. I just fear ever going back to that place. I barely made it through that time."

At just the mention of that time in their lives, Debbie is back there. She had always found it pretty easy to talk to Mickey, especially from that first time she had really directly interacted with him, the night he had showed up at their house because something was wrong with Ian. Brought her and Carl back to the Milkovich house to assess the situation. She was able to connect with him long before the rest of the Gallaghers (not including Ian, of course) had figured it out. They still hadn't fully figured it out. The only ones who really knew Mickey, inside and out, were her and Ian. It was because of this that their relationship flourished, and they developed a real friendship that had nothing to do with Ian. With Mickey, she had the benefit of a brotherly figure who was as protective of her as Lip or Ian would be, but who didn't look at her or talk to her like a little girl. He gave her straightforward and unfiltered advice, and she respected him even more for it. She found herself able to talk to him about dating and guys in a way she couldn't talk to the other boys. She went to him when she was having trouble with her first boyfriend, Ronnie. He had handled that real quick, and no one else ever found out about it. When Ian had ran off, she was the one who thought to go to their house and check in on Mickey when it didn't occur to any of her other siblings. She was the one who had found him in the state he was in, and helped him pick up the pieces and get through the days. Fiona had never really understood when Debbie told her she was going to stay at his place for awhile, and probably still felt slighted that Debbie's temporary move turned into a permanent one. But Fiona hadn't seen him the way Debbie had.

Debbie remembered banging on the door, knowing Mickey was there because she could hear the TV, but he wouldn't come to the door. She had known there was a spare key hidden outside somewhere and had eventually found it, stuck to the back of the mailbox. She let herself in and was dismayed at what she found. The house was a total mess, there was just shit everywhere she could see. Clothes, food, garbage, mail... It was all just strewn everywhere. He was passed out on the couch, an empty liquor bottle on the floor near where his hand was dangling off the side. She had tiptoed upstairs and the bedrooms were all pristine, doors closed, untouched. She could tell he hadn't even been into any of those rooms. She had come back down and set about getting some of this mess in order. She threw out all the garbage, took all the mail and put it on the kitchen counter, cleaned the pile of filthy dishes in the sink. When things looked to be more in order, she went over to the couch and shook Mickey. "Wake up. Get the fuck up. Mickey GET UP." He had rolled over and mumbled "Lee me 'lone." But Debbie wasn't having that. She grabbed a hold of his dangling arm and tugged him into a sitting position. "No, you're getting up right now." She was eventually able to pull him up to a standing position and pushed him up the stairs to the bathroom. It occurred to her that Mickey looked like he'd lost some weight, and she wondered if he had been eating. She remembered how she had somehow gotten him undressed and dropped him into the bathtub, turning the water on him and forcing him to finally react to her. He shot up, sputtering and spitting water. "What the fuck! What are you doing?! Debbie, why are you here?" She had bent down and looked him in the eye and said "I'm getting you the hell up. You're not going to sit here and wallow over Ian." She grabbed soap and a washcloth and started scrubbing at him until he finally took the cloth and started doing it himself. She then went and got him clothes out of his room and brought them back for him to change into.

When that was finally done, she had led him back to the living room and sat down on the couch, much like the way they were sitting now, and she had looked at him and said "Mickey, talk to me. Please." Eventually, he had.

She snapped out of her flashback in time to hear Mickey say "And I just... I love your brother. He's everything to me. I just want him to be okay. Ugh, listen to me. I've turned into such a fuckin' sap." They both laugh at this, and Debbie says "Oh please, you were always a sap on the inside. You just didn't have a reason to show it until Ian came along!" He shrugs and offers her a smile. "Yea, maybe." They sit side by side, quiet for a few minutes while they both get lost in thought about their conversation. Debbie finally breaks the silence. "You know, Mickey, you can't control everything. All you can do is what you can do, and the rest is just up to other people pulling their weight, and hope that things play out the way you want, or at least the way you can manage. You're doing what you need to be doing for yourself, for Ian, for your life together. Ian's doing the same. Now all that's left is hoping that it keeps going as it is. I understand your fear, we all worry about Ian too. But trust me, he loves you just as much as you love him, and he will work at this not just for himself but for you too. I know he carries guilt about what he did to you, leaving like that, even if it wasn't really him. At least he's no Monica. He tries. He doesn't bitch about how the meds make him feel, he takes them. He deals with it. He goes to his therapy appointments. He comes back. And maybe that's the most important part of all. He comes back. Dealing with something like this is a marathon, not a sprint. There's no quick fix, we all know that. So, we take it as it comes and just hope that this time around, it works out." Mickey gives her another hug and says "Thanks, Deb. You're really the best friend I've ever had, besides your brother. But he doesn't count, I spend too much time trying to get in his pants." She yells "Eww!" and hits him with one of the throw pillows on the couch. Finally, they both get up to get their days started, Mickey to eat and run some errands, and Debbie to go to her job at the mall.

Ian comes home in the afternoon and finds Mickey dozed off on the couch with the TV on. He's surprised that Mickey isn't up before he has to go to work, but a quick peek at their calendar shows that Mickey is actually off tonight. Still, Mickey isn't one for taking naps. Ian doesn't want to disturb him, so he goes to tiptoe upstairs when he hears Mickey's voice mumbling to him. "Hey Red, c'mere." Ian goes to the living room and stands over him. "C'mere." He grabs Ian's hand and pulls him onto the couch, on top of himself. He wraps his arms around Ian, pressing his face into Ian's chest and breathing him in, the faint smell of this morning's cologne still lingering on his shirt. He tilts his head up and his mouth is on Ian's, breathing heavy as he kisses him. He moves one of his hands through Ian's hair and deepens the kiss. Ian is giving it back to him just as intensely, pulling Mickey close to him. Mickey breaks the kiss, panting. "Take me upstairs. Right. NOW." Ian climbs off Mickey and actually picks him up off the couch and carries him to their room.

After they're done, they are both laying back on their bed, their energy spent. Mickey lights a cigarette, blowing smoke rings towards the ceiling. He turns his head and looks at Ian, at his profile and how the light is hitting his face through the window. He takes the sight in, how he feels his heart swell just looking at Ian. "I love you Red." Ian rolls over to face him and smiles. "I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always believed that, fic wise and show wise, if Mickey could ever connect with another Gallagher on more than a surface level, it would be Debbie or Fiona, but Fiona always has 400 other things going on. He and Lip have too much animosity. I think Carl and Mickey could get along fine, but still more on that surface level. And clearly, Liam is a kid.
> 
> Plus, I just love Debbie!
> 
> Kudos/comments much appreciated :)
> 
> Find me on Tumblr!
> 
> grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com


	17. Bring Me Back To Miami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey proves that he's working past his fears about Ian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter, I was kind of stalled on where it was going! Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Song Credit: Armin Van Buuren

It's funny how sometimes a little time or patience can shift your perspective. A week has passed since Mickey and Debbie's conversation and he's feeling much more optimistic about everything. He really wants to make an effort to be more positive in general, and wants to commemorate it, but he doesn't quite know how. The idea winds up coming to him in a flash.

He comes home from the laundromat with all three of their clothes, and has sorted everything out for each of them. He takes Debbie's clothes into her room, placing them on the bed for her to put away when she gets home. He glances over at the cork board she has over her desk, and notices two things that catch his attention. The first is a picture of her and Ian from when they were really young. Ian's wearing a baseball jersey, and he recognizes it from when they were in little league together. He smiles at the picture of his two favorite redheads. Next to it is a postcard that Ian had sent her from when they were in Miami. He remembers going to the little gift shop by the beach with Ian for souvenirs and Ian poring over the postcards, looking for just the right ones to send each of his siblings. For Debbie, he had picked a picture of the sunset over the beach, rich shades of pink and orange filling the sky. Mickey takes it off the board and flips it over to read Ian's note to her.

_Debs!_

_Having a great time in Miami but we miss you guys! You have to come down here one of these days, it's beautiful. The beach smells like freedom. But don't forget to bring lots of sunscreen. We did, and I have the sunburn to prove it. See you in a few days!_

_Love, Ian_

But there's something else that Mickey notices about the postcard. He looks at that, and then looks back to the picture that originally caught his eye. He switches between the two a few times before he smiles and puts the postcard back in its rightful place. Just like that, he knows how he is going to mark this new phase of his life that he's trying out. He checks the contents of his wallet and leaves the house in a rush.

That afternoon, Ian comes home from student teaching. He's on his last semester of his undergraduate studies, and this is part of his course work to be a teacher. He has applied for Master's programs, so that he can get his certifications in order, and is waiting on answers. When he gets there, Mickey is on the couch drinking a beer and watching a movie. He enters the living room to greet him when he sees a bandage on Mickey's wrist. "Mick, are you alright?! What the hell happened to you?" Mickey smiles and says "Relax, Ian. I'm fine." Ian looks at him questioningly. "If you're fine, why do you have your wrist all wrapped up like that?" Mickey quickly realizes what Ian is implying and hastily says "No, no! It's not what you think. I have a surprise for you." Ian sighs with relief. "Jesus, Mick. For a second there I thought of Monica... And that Thanksgiving." Mickey runs a hand through his hair and says "Shit, man. I'm sorry, I didn't even think about that. But no, I'm fine. C'mere, I'll show you." Ian approaches him while he removes the tape and the covering, and he turns his arm to show Ian the inside of his wrist. There's a tattoo there. 

**33143**

Ian looks at Mickey, confused. "Oh okay, it's a tattoo. But what is it for?" Mickey takes Ian's hand and says "C'mon, I'll show you." He leads Ian upstairs into Debbie's bedroom. He starts to explain how he had returned with the laundry and how he had gotten distracted looking at Debbie's board. Ian's still not sure where this is going until Mickey finally gets to the point. "So, I saw this picture of you and Debbie and I recognized the jersey from when we were in little league. And then I was looking at the postcard from Miami and when I was looking at both of them, I saw that your number on your jersey was 33, and that was also the first two numbers of the zip code where we stayed. And the last three numbers were 143, which is like, text slang for I love you. And we always talk about how that week was the best week of our lives. It felt like a sign, like all those things weren't just a coincidence. So I wanted to do something special so that I always remember it, and I figured if I'm going to do that, I should do it somewhere that I can always look at it, which is why I got it on my wrist." Ian cradles Mickey's face in his hands and kisses him gently. "I think that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard you say to me." Mickey smiles and says "C'mon, I have another surprise for you too. I learned a new song for you, I want to play it." He leads Ian into their bedroom where the guitar is waiting and softly pushes him to sit on the bed. He picks up the guitar and starts singing.

_I know your feeling restless_   
_Like life's not on your side_   
_It's weighing heavy on your mind_

_But when we stand united_   
_Our hearts they beat in time_   
_And I know we'll make it all alright_

_Let's bring it back to you and me_   
_There's no one else around_   
_Now don't get lost in gravity_

_'Cause I want you to hold me now_   
_Nothing else matters_   
_It's just the two of us_   
_And if it all falls down_   
_Nothing else matters_   
_You know we're strong enough_

_I'm not giving up_   
_I'm not giving up on us_   
_I said I'm not giving up_   
_I'm not giving up on love_

_We're of the same existence_   
_No lock without a key_   
_We can't deny it's meant to be_

_Cause I feel it inside_   
_Taking over tonight_   
_I'll be there when the storm is breaking_

_In this moment I'm yours_   
_You can always be sure_   
_That together we're gonna make it_

_So baby won't you hold me now_   
_Nothing else matters_   
_It's just the two of us_   
_And if it all falls down_   
_Nothing else matters_   
_You know we're strong enough_

_I'm not giving up_   
_I'm not giving up on us_   
_I said im not giving up_   
_I'm not giving up on love_

Ian has tears in his eyes when the song is over. Mickey places the guitar back in it's stand and goes over to Ian, pushing him back slowly onto the bed as he climbs on top of him. He starts kissing him all over, and telling him in between pecks "Ian, I'm yours. Forever. I'm here and I'm never going to stop fighting for us. No matter what the world throws at us, it's you and me. I love you Red." He slowly starts undressing Ian, and himself. They don't fuck or have sex, they make love, and Mickey finally understands the difference. When they are done, and Mickey is lying in Ian's arms, Mickey curls himself tightly against Ian's side and whispers into his chest. "Forever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 33143 really is a zip code in Miami, I googled it!
> 
> This is the end of this story. Thanks to anyone who stuck with it this whole time <3
> 
> Kudos/comments appreciated and welcomed as always :)
> 
> Find me on Tumblr:
> 
> grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com


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